It’s BACK; The Self Improvement Gifts Giveaway 6.

Have I got some exciting news for you today! It’s BACK!

 

I want to let you know about a Self Improvement site that will allow you to download 100’s of self help gifts, including mine! And yes…it is absolutely FREE!

 Yep, you heard me right…for FREE!

 All you have to do is go here: http://selfimprovementgifts6.com/go/1203

 So, if you have found yourself going round in circles time and time again just trying to improve things in your life, but find yourself getting nowhere fast, then I’m pleased to tell you that it is now easily within your reach to change things during 2012.

 

HOWEVER, just like anything in life there is a downside here – BUT don’t panic because if you act fast you won’t miss out.

 The Self Improvement Gifts Giveaway 6 hosted by Stephanie Mulac, Carolyn Hansen and Dr. Joe Rubino will only be open for a VERY LIMITED TIME… only a few weeks in fact!

 So if you are serious about making 2012 the BEST year ever, then you need to jump on board as soon as the event opens on the 5th of January. (HEY,THAT’S TODAY!)

 Don’t delay because the doors close for good a few weeks later.

 Here’s just a small sample of the 100s of gifts that are available for you to download instantly once the event goes live:

 

* Affirmations For A Wealthy Mindset Audio – Elaine Lockard

* Rewire Your Brain For Success – Gene Anger

* Self Care For Body & Mind – Mari Lyn Harris

* A Beginners Guide To Running – Paul Klein

* Millionaire Goal Setting Secrets – Amanda Stephen

* Create Your Own Self Improvements Products – Keith Purkiss

* And Much Much More!

 

If you are ready to start the year off right, which I’m sure you are, and tackle EVERYTHING that is holding you back from moving forward in life, or if you just want to change things because you are looking for a sense of inner peace, then you need to go here RIGHT NOW:

 http://selfimprovementgifts6.com/go/1203

You know, this is the 6th Self Improvement Gifts Giveaway event and each year it just gets BIGGER and BETTER!

This REALLY is the largest collection of POWERFUL self help and personal growth gifts you will find on the Internet EVER!

Before you go I just have one question for you…

 

Now that you know about this potentially life changing giveaway, are you going to make the most of the opportunity, or are you going to sit back and let 2012 be a repeat of 2011?

 

The choice is yours, but I know what I’m going to do and that is FIGHT BACK and live life the way I want to….Are you with me?

 

Hope to see you there :)

To your hopes, dreams and possibilities,

Deborah

 

http://selfimprovementgifts6.com/go/1203

 

P.S. By the way…Now that you’re ready to life your life YOUR WAY…you still have time to take advantage of the 40% off sale on BOTH of the Mastermind Groups. So this year gather and conspire with your fellow women of a certain age and make life your way happen!

P.S.S. The entire 5 week Adventure Fest Boot Camp Mastermind including all the weekly strategies, helpful tools, suggestions sheets with tons of ideas to pick and choose from and spark your creativity, email support on our private password protected community page that I will administer as well as a group weekly community call that I also administer is less than $18.00 a week! OR the 3 month Mini Mastermind for $15.00 a week!! Take advantage of this Fabulous Sales… Join us…the second half of your life should be fun! 

 

Holiday Stress – The Real Reason You Feel It and How to Avoid It

Cultures around the world have their own special days and ways of expressing gratitude for all that is good in their lives and recently most of us who live in the United States celebrated ours; Thanksgiving.

Now that the food has been cooked and eaten and we have taken the time to share our love and thanks with our friends and relatives the whirlwind of holiday parties and duties begins.

This is a joyous time for most of us and the anticipation intensifies as neighborhoods and malls explode with holiday lights, decorations and magic. I love the holiday season but it can also bring with it a lot of stress.

I have often thought the reason for the stressful feelings everyone seems to experience was due to additional duties, shopping and of course the constant commercials encouraging us that bigger, brighter and more is the key to holiday joy! But according to Ronald Nathan, PhD, Clinical professor at Albany Medical College in New York the real culprit might be our own memories:

“When we think about the holidays, we dwell on the past and what went wrong, or we romanticize it and make it impossible to re-create,” he says.

I think it is particularly relevant to those of us in midlife and beyond. At this stage in our lives chances are good that our holidays will be different than they used to be. Our children might be away at school or married and in other locations creating their own traditions.  Perhaps we have downsized and those nostalgic memories of giant gatherings and parties we once hosted are not realistic or even as appealing in our new digs.

 

Yes, I believe it’s the memories that can be confusing. Different does not necessarily mean not as good but it does require us to let go of what once was; which can be easier said than done. Consider the three agreed upon stages of transition:

1)      The ‘letting go’ phase – experiencing the ending of something that we knew

2)      The neutral zone – the time between when you let go of something and become comfortable with the new. This is also referred to as the transitional time.

3)      And beginning anew – the final stage of change. When you know you have moved on. You have left the old behind and made the necessary adjustments to move forward in a healthy way.

 

Each of us goes through the stages of change in our own time and for me a giant step in the letting go phase came with my recent realization that I no longer own a Christmas Tree!  Yikes, that is a little bit of an awakening and yet for some strange reason I saved all of my treasured tree ornaments. It may sound trivial to you but in my world it’s an enlightening moment. You see when I moved and sold ‘everything’ I made the conscious decision to sell my tree but now that it is my first holiday without the tradition of decorating and putting up the tree…I know I don’t have a tree. What was once a big symbolic part of the season for me is gone; changed.

As I watch my daughter from my present perspective stress over the fact her tree is up but not decorated, planned gifts for her children are already out of stock, outdoor lights on white wire are sold out and will have to be ordered and it is only the first week in December, I think I can say I am ready to let go of that part of my life! I am not saying I won’t ever own or put up a Christmas tree again but I now realize I am ready to create new traditions that fit my new life; and that’s a good thing.

We all create a great deal of angst when we put our focus on the past and what we don’t have. Practicing the ‘attitude of gratitude’ and taking the time to notice and appreciate what we do have can truly transform our viewpoint.

In my case, I may not have a tree this year to place all those treasured ornaments filled with memories of the past and I’m not certain when or even if I will want to again. On the other hand, I am in a fresh new environment surrounded by those who are most important to me at a very special time of year; and yes that is a very good thing.

However you celebrate this season I hope you remember to focus on life’s gifts within any challenges you might experience and try not to stress over the perfect dinner, gift or holiday decorations!  I wish you the warmest and happiest of Holidays!

Life Change – 5 Ways to Get Unstuck and Started

 

 

 

Many of us have come to that moment in our lives when we realize we have been presented with an unprecedented gift; quality time.  We women of a certain age today will live healthier and longer than any time in history. Interestingly just as we are armed with a collection of more or less half a lifetime of experiences, failures, successes and the kind of knowledge and wisdom one acquires only through ‘living’ we find ourselves with an indescribable yearning for something more.

 

 Recently during one of our Adventure Fest Mastermind discussions we found ourselves trying to define this yearning and we ultimately described it as a desire to recover and reactivate those parts of ourselves from the past that we have let lapse during all this living. We recalled what it felt like to be filled with imagination, creativity and a natural intuition for our personal rhythm. That longing for the long lost time when we instinctively took care of our needs and wants and made room for the personal exploration that kept us whole, fulfilled and growing.

 

Yes, these are exciting times for us and with our cache of life lessons, wisdom and passion we have the opportunity to live the second half of our lives very differently than our mothers and grandmothers if we choose to. But for some of us, with all this experience and living we have been doing, our lives can feel like a giant house filled with cluttered rooms. There is so much accumulated stuff in these rooms it can be overwhelming to decide where to start. Often we spend so much time thinking about how we might change our lives we become overwhelmed and do nothing at all.

 

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
~ Seneca

 

The important thing is to take that first step and begin. Here are 5 tips to help start the process:

 

1. Start Small – but START! Begin by spending a designated amount of time each day thinking and writing about how satisfied you are with your life now. Define which parts of your life you like and those parts you would like to change.   But remember, indecision is a time thief! Try setting a limit for the amount of time you will spend deciding where to start. During that time write down all the possibilities you want to explore and decide on one or two areas of your life you want to improve. Once you’re deadline arrives – commit to starting. (As in put it on your calendar and do it)
2. Make a Plan – Next decide on two or three action steps that you can take to start your progress. Keep a daily list of actions needed and completed.  Commit to doing at least one thing, no matter how small, on the list each day.  It’s helpful to realize from the beginning that your plan will not be perfect and its okay to change it if you find it isn’t working. Make an agreement with yourself to be flexible.
3. Follow Through – Moving through change can be uncomfortable and feel awkward but it is the only way to move forward. Recognize that we each have our own style of dealing with change. Understanding this will take the pressure off and allow you to undertake this change at your own pace. This is an important tip and will greatly increase the likelihood of sticking to your plan!
4. Get Support – Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Having a safe and non-judgmental place to go for ideas, encouragement and accountability will play a big part in your eventual success. Enlist the help of a good friend or find a group who share your goals.
5. Make it FUN – This isn’t supposed to be drudgery. Find ways to unlock your creativity and make it fun. This is about getting back in touch with ‘you’; don’t compare yourself or your progress with anyone else. Try new things and bring back your forgotten pleasures!

 

Keep your results handy and visit them often for contemplation. Hopefully it gives you a peek at what might be and inspires you to get Unstuck and Started!

 

 

P.S. On that note…don’t forget the FREE Teleseminar/Disscussion. You can get started right now by joining us on October 19^th for How to Get a New Perspective on the Rest of Your Life. Or even better – join one of our coming Mastermind Groups! CLICK HERE to get unstuck NOW!

 

To your hopes, dreams, and possibilities…

 

Deborah

 

 

 

 

Life Change – The Big Move Accomplished!

Guess what…some things just don’t change. Just when you think you have everything under control it happens; suddenly you realize there were a number of things you forgot to consider or do and you are out of time. The train has left the station. Boxes, packing paper, decisions about last minute items that result in five more packing boxes, deadlines missed, frayed tempers, a small amount of pouting, moving vans, driving with animals, (a lot of animals), exhaustion, not enough sleep, more frayed tempers, tense moments, some very funny moments and laughter and somehow you finally arrive at your destination and you realize everything you painstakingly packed now needs to be unpacked. Just not fun.

Hmmm, let’s review:

THE UNDER CONTROL PART:

Sell my home and most of my ‘stuff’ keeping just enough for a small one bedroom apartment. Sounds so simple in this sentence but yes, it is done.

Move with my daughter and grandchildren to California where I would help her settle into her new home and life while finding my own. What? Yup, that was the plan and yes, I thought I had it completely under control.

WHAT I FORGOT TO CONSIDER:

I guess I kept thinking about moving myself and forgot about the helping my daughter part. She has A LOT of stuff; a large amount of things, pets, people and different energies swirling around her every minute of every day. The good news is I am very happy about my decision to get rid of most of my ‘stuff’ but now I wish I had gotten rid of it ALL!! Just kidding; even though it has been very tiring I am so glad I am able to be here with them to help and now that some of the dust has settled I am once again realizing that although this is an exciting step it is also a little scary.

Scary or not there is nothing more precious to me than the sound of those two little feet, (my beautiful, wonderful granddaughter) that have taken to scampering down the stairs each morning, the gentle knock at my door followed by the sweet tiny little voice requesting to enter and the feeling I get when she jumps in my bed to snuggle and greet the new day. I can’t imagine missing her first day at soccer and the resulting purchase of pink shoes and shine guards. Way cool. Or my grandson’s first little smile and the look on his face as he first tasted carrots and apples baby food. Did I say taste? This boy is going to be a GOOD eater! But still…

Once again I am in a temporary scenario, which means I am in a bedroom of her house with just enough stuff (a chest of drawers and only the clothes I felt were necessary to survive) and the rest of my belongings are either in her attic or a corner of the garage. But here is the interesting part; I am watching how easily my daughter is able to find connections here in her new city. Granted she is relying on familiar resources and her husband has been working out of here for a couple of years but it is surprising how easy it is for her to find ‘her own kind’. Of course she also feels the stress of finding friends and a routine just as I do and I am not implying that a move when you’re younger is easier than when you are older…I’m just saying.

For me, the reality of all this is becoming clear. There isn’t a stroller strides for women of a certain age and even though I came out here with them I really am alone. The neighborhood choice was based on schools for the kids etc. (as it should be) however I feel like a pregnant woman at night club. Everyone here appears to be 30’s – 40’s  with one to two kids. The whole area is very family oriented which is absolutely great and just perfect for her family. I couldn’t be more pleased. Really I am. I’m just saying.

I should not be surprised because our goals were completely different. She was looking to find a better place for her family so that she could continue her life as it is and I was looking for a different place to completely change my life. Now I know what you’re thinking; why don’t I just find that quaint yet trendy, small but artsy place to live and move there? Some of us are family oriented and some of us can be content to see our grandkids and daughters once or twice a year. Since I am and have been alone, meaning no mate to consider, I have the option to stay close. I am grateful for that but it still leaves me with a dilemma…

Is it possible to blend all my wants and desires and create a version of what I thought I wanted? It occurred to me that we all have diverse and sometimes contradictory wants and desires. Blending these and often times just finding out what it is we want at this special time in our lives is not as easy as it might seem. Not to worry I am armed with an excellent plan to discover just that based on advice from none other than Mr. Know it All himself. More on this later but speaking of the devil:

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DOUG?

I’m afraid I have some really bad news here. I think my virtual relationship with Doug is over!  That’s right. It looks like I have been dumped, rejected, rebuffed, dismissed, forgotten, disregarded, dropped, abandoned, cast aside, tossed aside. (Oh No!)   I haven’t heard from him since May 30^th when he was on his way to a fraternity reunion. Now of course I know that I am partially to blame. Selling the house  and the whole move thing did become consuming and although he appeared to be understanding and even supportive I did notice his calls became brief and farther apart than normal.

He had a number of trips planned for the summer however we were supposed to rendezvous for our first live meeting on or around my July birthday. All I got was a very brief phone message wishing me a happy birthday.  Missing was the ‘let’s chat soon’ that was customary. The little girl in me said ‘well then, whatever’ but the grown up or at least more mature part of me says, maybe he expected me to call him? Come to think of it he was doing all the calling…

SO NOW I NEED YOUR HELP!

Should I just let it go or be the bigger person and call him to see if it he felt neglected or geez, who knows maybe he found a lost love at the reunion and doesn’t want to tell me? Even if he has we could still be friends and I have to admit I do miss his sunny disposition and hilarious advice. Besides that, we were all set to expand the Coffee with Debi and Doug to include chats about daily events, other topics of interest and some really fun stuff for those of us who are ‘of a certain age.’  

You know I keep thinking about the relationship in book he wrote, Wade . (By the way, I really enjoyed this book) but to make a long story short; in the book Wade had a really great relationship with a woman that ended with her leaving to go back to her hometown without giving him a reason why. When we talked about this he said, “Sometimes you don’t get to know why.” I also remember saying “What? No way, every red blooded American woman I know would never just let that stand. She would poke and prod and definitely want to know WHY, especially if everything was so great.” But now I’m not so sure so I thought I’d take a little informal poll.

 I really do want your help. What do you think? Should I make the call and see what on earth he was thinking and WHY? (Men are so strange) or should I just let the little girl in me prevail and never know? Please share your thoughts below!

P.S. Did I mention that moving and unpacking is just not fun? I have some really great pictures to share but it seems I have misplaced my camera charger!!! So look for those as well as the new and very fun plan I spoke of in my next post.

To your dreams and possiblilites~

Life Change – Step Two in Progress!

Time for an update as my personal transformation continues! What next? In a matter of five days I will be in route to ‘my new Life’. As the big day finally approaches everything seems to be occurring in slow motion; the days seem longer and less eventful. The list of ‘MUST DO or DECIDE’ is down to one type written page and I find myself feeling there must be something more I should be doing or that I am forgetting to do. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since the original list was as long as an entire roll of toilet paper! Oddly enough I am uncomfortable with not feeling overwhelmed every day and I have to remind myself that this is the good news.  Although this is pretty exciting I must say when Mr. Reese said

“I found that the older I got, as more time passed, the more life itself became overwhelming. I accumulated more stuff, more relationships, more memories, and often more obligations”

he had no idea how very right he was! When A LOT of time has passed it is more difficult to release some of those old but comfortable perspectives, relationships and obligations.

No matter what kind of change or transformation you might be going through there comes a time when the old is gone, the new is unknown and you are in between. Once we have moved through the ‘letting go’ or decision process we find ourselves in the second phase of change; the transitional time – the time between letting go of the old and fully embracing and adapting to the new. It is during this time it is common to feel a little lost, unsure about what to do and what is expected of you. This is unfamiliar territory and nothing feels the same.   

Now that I have sold my home, almost all of my belongings and am ready for the big move I am surprised to feel moments of uncertainty and emptiness. (NOW? REALLY?) As a life coach I know that the transitional time of change is an opportunity to evaluate any previous decisions you might have made. I also know that when the change you are going through is a big one, it is easy to get bogged down in the forest and forget about the trees! With that in mind I decided to take a moment to explore these feelings and sort out what has been accomplished.

I started with a list of what I had done focusing on those things that were foreign to me and those I felt I could not control. I then narrowed it down to the 4 items I felt bothered me the most. Very clarifying! With that in hand I went a step further and took  one of my favorite coaching tools designed for anyone going through a transition:

What Do I Need To Let Go Of?

• The things we hold onto, bear grudges or perhaps feel angry and hurt about cloud our mind and prevent us from being the best we can be.
• Letting go usually involves some form of forgiveness or acceptance – whether it’s you, someone else, a situation or even an unknown third party. The irony is that whatever you’re holding onto, it’s probably hurting or bothering you much more than it does anyone else.
• Letting go doesn’t mean we condone a situation or behavior; it’s about lightening OUR load. Because when we let go of whatever is bothering us we set ourselves free and get to reclaim that energy for ourselves.
• You don’t need to know HOW to let go, you just need to be WILLING. You can’t change the past, but you can learn from it and change how you feel going forwards.
• And remember – whatever you find it hardest to let go of is probably what you need to let go of the most…

INSTRUCTIONS: While you may not wish to do anything about these right now, just listing what you need to let go of here will raise your level of awareness and you’ll naturally begin to loosen your grip.  So, simply list below what you’re holding onto, what slows you down, what riles you up and anything that gets in the way of you being the best you can be…

      What do I need to let go of?                                           How I benefit by ‘holding on’ *

1. 1.       …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
2. 2.      …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
3. 3.       …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
4. 4.      …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
5. 5.       …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
6. 6.      …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
7. 7.       …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
8. 8.      …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
9. 9.      …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….
10. 10.   …………………………………………………………………………     ……………………………………………………….

 

Just for a second, imagine letting go of everything on this list. How does it feel? ………………………………

What have I learned about myself from doing this exercise? ………………………………………………………

 

* If you’re struggling with identifying a benefit (there must be something or you wouldn’t be holding on to it) ask yourself, “What do I gain by keeping hold of this?” Perhaps by holding on to resentments, anger, hurt you don’t need to accept your part in the situation, or perhaps it stops you from feeling how hurt you really were, maybe you get to stay in ‘the right’ or avoid dealing with someone.

TIP: If you need to let go of something YOU’VE done, simply ask, “What do I need to do that will allow me to let this go?” Perhaps you need to make notes in your journal of what you’ve learned, perhaps you need to make some kind of amends, apologize or find a meaningful way to make it up to yourself or someone else. While we can’t change the past, we can make amends and learn from it.

What are my most recent lessons?

• Some of the items on my list I will not be able to completely release but I know they will evolve into something new and different; and that’s okay.
• I want to let go of the feeling I must solve everyone in the families problems. I will always want to help but I do not need to feel like a failure if I choose not to help or I am unable to fix their issue.
• This sounds so silly but I want to come to terms with not OWNING a home! I honestly don’t want the responsibility but it feels and sounds so strange when I say it out loud!

Remember, old habits are hard to unlearn. It’s hard on our human nature to let go of what’s familiar, even when the old might not serve us very well.  You might be tempted to rush into the first relationship that comes your way, take a job or start a business that is completely unsuited for you. Whatever change you are going through the transition time is the time for you to sort out the past without recreating the past.

You are capable of so much more than you know!

What’s next? The Big Move!

Transitions and Sage advice from one far younger than I

Almost all of us are go through transitions or experience changes of one kind or another throughout our lives. Life will change whether we plan it or not and no matter if it is major or minor there is one thing that all changes have in common; there are days when we cannot seem to see the daylight at the end of the tunnel. Recently it was just such a day for me when I received an email from an amazing guy about his even more amazing adventure!

A LITTLE BACKGROUND ON JOHN

John Reese is a well known young marketing genius and an expert in internet traffic generation. After years of struggling to become a success and a large amount of accumulated debt he made quite an impact on the internet marketing community when he made over a million dollars in a single day! I know…it got my attention too and I had been a subscriber to his list for quite some time until last summer when he announced that he had made a drastic decision:

JOHN’S MINIMALIST ADVENTURE

 He abruptly announced he had decided to get rid of all his ‘stuff’ with the exception of his laptop and a few days worth of clothes and travel indefinitely. Now that’s a TRANSITION! The email also spoke of how he had been reading about minimalism and how eliminating all distractions and ‘things’ could really free up your mind and unlock creativity to its maximum potential.

And I said…Wow!

 Now I don’t know Mr. Reese personally but I have admired his work and certainly appreciated his story of how he struggled for a long time to make a success online. Through tenacity and never allowing discouragement to damper his quest he ultimately achieved his dream. When I received his email last summer I was very intrigued because although I was not contemplating anything quite so drastic I also had been reading and thinking a lot about what I now call my ‘fresh start transformation.’ As the months passed I  forgot about John’s email so imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to receive another email with a long awaited update; given the fact Mr. Reese is not yet ‘of a certain age’ I was even further surprised at some of the thoughts he shared about his  “minimalism” experiment.

HIS PLAN

In summary his plan was to travel the world and run his business from his laptop for at least a year but that did not happen. (Not all bad, life and our goals are usually a work in progress) After 3 months he grew tired, lonely and a little road weary so he adjusted his plan, returned to the USA and rented a ‘home base’ to allow a more leisurely pace for his continued minimalist adventure. He shared a lot about what he had learned about himself and life so far but what follows are a few excerpts from the email that struck a chord in me despite the difference in our age and path.

“Ultimately, I have learned a lot about myself, about being an entrepreneur, and about tapping into my own creativity from this experiment.  Let me share some of those insights…

 

AS LIFE GOES ON, OVERWHELM INCREASES

I found that the older I got, as more time passed, the more life itself became overwhelming.  I accumulated more stuff, more relationships, more memories, and often more obligations.”

 

He spoke of how we tend to be mental and actual pack rats; almost unconsciously accumulating and collecting. As he says;

“If the brain is like a computer, it only has so much RAM capacity. The more memories we accumulate and the more things we surround ourselves with that have to be managed, the less RAM is free to use for thinking. Sad but true. No wonder most people are going through life completely stressed out. There’s just TOO MUCH CRAP GOING ON in your life to give you a chance to relax your mind.

 

I, obviously, went to extremes with my Minimalism Challenge to myself.  But I wanted to (and probably needed to) so I could really feel the difference and see what that was.  And let me tell you, it’s AMAZING.

 

Do you know why so many of us think of CHILDHOOD as the best time in our lives?  It’s because that’s the time when we had very little to WORRY about or STRESS over.  We used our minds creatively and were only focused on a very small number of things:

 

• - What can I do to entertain myself today?
• - I wonder if he/she likes me.
• - I’m really enjoying learning this new stuff in my class.
• - I don’t feel like doing this homework.
• - Gee, I’m hungry, what’s to eat?

 

Okay, that was obviously over-simplified, but the point is, back then we had very little to truly stress about (at least most of the time) and our minds weren’t CLOGGED managing all sorts of material stuff we owned or worried about tons of obligations we had to manage.

 

Yet as adults we can have just as much fun as we had when we were kids.  In fact, we can participate in certain activities (if we choose to) that we couldn’t as kids.  So it’s definitely not about that that makes the difference.

 

More than anything it’s about TIME and having the freedom to enjoy ourselves more — and that comes down to many things like how we produce our incomes to live off of but also how we manage the rest of our time as well.

 

Of course, making more money will provide more freedom for you, but I truly believe you can gain a lot more freedom by FREEING UP YOUR LIFE from a lot of unnecessary things, and that’s one key point of this email.”

 

John shared how he felt his experiment had positively affected his outlook on business but at this point in my life I was more interested in his thoughts on how this experiment had changed his feelings on life. Interestingly the two seemed surprisingly intertwined which he summed up this way:

“YOUR SUCCESS (AND HAPPINESS) LIES WITHIN REDUCING YOUR LIFE, NOT ADDING TO IT”

 

“In summary, the key point I want to get across is that LESS IS MORE.  Yes, that seems like an overused statement but it’s true.

 

If you minimize your life, you will maximize your Freedom Of Thought (as I like to call it), which will reduce your stress, and allow you to focus only on the most important things in your life – whether that’s your family, your business, or any other interest you have.

 

YOU are the architect of your life.  If you want to ADD more of one area of your life then it’s 99.9% certain that you must TAKE AWAY from somewhere else.  You must REDUCE something else in order to add more of what you want more of.  It’s a simple and true equation.

 

Time is limited and so is our Mental Capacity.  You have to learn to manage BOTH.

 

I challenge you to take some time to really write out where you spend all of your time, the things in your life that stress you out and overwhelm you, what consumes much of your thoughts, and see if you can’t REDUCE things from here and there or find ways to manage them better.

 

If you want MORE of anything in your life, it all starts with LESS of the other stuff.”

Sage advice from one so young! Having just reduced a lifetime of physical belongings by about 90% I could certainly relate to this. As it turns out that was the easy part but while considering the mental ‘stuff’ it occurred to me this is proving to be a bit harder to reduce. Family, pets, habits and patterns of thought, fear of the unknown and well meaning advice from those who do and do not care about you can be very difficult to sort out when you are making any kind of change in your life let alone a major one.

This very well may relate to being an entrepreneur but I think John may have discovered an even more valuable pearl of wisdom about life! I hope you find this as thought provoking as I have. Thanks John, I hope you don’t mind my sharing your valuable food for thought.

So how are you managing your time? Click this link, take this thought provoking quiz and find out! Were you as surprised as I was? I’d love to hear…

Life Change – I Survived Step One!

As many of you know I recently embarked on my own personal transformation journey and now I have accomplished what I consider to be the first major step in the process. My ‘Fresh Start’ can now begin… I’m Homeless!  I FINALLY SOLD MY HOUSE!!! Actually it was in escrow twice, fell out once and after an incredibly nerve racking experience it is sold. As if that was not enough, my daughter delivered my beautiful healthy grandson in the middle of all this about 4 weeks early. As for the purging, (AKA giant, tiring garage sales and NUMEROUS trips to Good Will) actually I think I did a pretty good job. Now that the dust has settled I can see there is still more that can be ditched but overall what is left will definitely fit nicely in a small one bedroom apartment when the time is right. And yes, I did survive but there were many surprises, even more lessons and there were moments…oh there were moments.

It’s not as though I didn’t know that it was more difficult to sell a home these days. You’d have to live in a cave to not have heard about the short sales, foreclosures; the difficulties people are having qualifying for loans and declining equity in homes all over the US but…let’s just say this is not your mother’s real estate market. In fact it was worse than I ever dreamed and very stressful.  As a result, my little miss sunshine reputation suffered in the process and there were moments when I ‘behaved badly.’

Now however tempting it might be it is not my intention to write an exposé on the current real estate market. I share this with you because no matter what transformation you may be going through or goal you might be working on there will come a point when you realize you are on the brink of something great and you will experience obstacles or setbacks. When they arrive without warning it is inevitable that the obstacles will seem bigger than ever. It is especially during these times that you must stay on track.  When you successfully move through your challenges, it increases your confidence, makes you stronger, and moves you one step closer to your goals!

What got me through?

Well of course I repeatedly returned to the exercise I shared with you in one of my previous e-zines. If you missed it below is a recap:

1.      What it is that you want? Take the time to write and get very clear in your mind what your ‘ideal’ looks like.

2.      Answer these identifying questions:

• What have you done so far? What worked best and what didn’t?
• What skills and resources do you have that could move you forward?
• What research could you do to help you find the next step?
• What do you need to do before you do anything else?
• Who else could you ask for help in achieving your goal?

3.      Taking action: Looking at the list you have just made answer these questions:

• What would the smallest and easiest step be for you?
• How can you make the task/action more enjoyable or fun?
• What action could you take in the next 10 minutes?
• What 3 actions could you take that make sense this week?
• Who else could help you in completing your actions?

4.      Be committed, determined and don’t give up.

• Refocus on and re-read what it is that you want.
• Take a moment to realize the current challenge you are facing and how you feel about it.
• Ask yourself how willing you are to move through this challenge and is the reward worth it.
• Take a moment to remember another time when you felt this way and how you felt when you overcame it.

 

The Surprises

I listed my house in November, sold almost all of my possessions and closed escrow mid February. Pretty fast in today’s market but I can tell you it felt like a year!  For me this experience felt like the downhill side of a roller coaster ride; definitely no turning back, excessive speed that made me feel I had little time to ponder decisions or procrastinate and plenty of jerking turns, just as it looked like I was about to catapult off the track. There were many times the moment of success looked to be right around the corner and one of those ‘obstacles’ would occur. That’s the wearing part; the highs and lows but what I found to be the most uncomfortable part was the never ending ever increasing number of decisions that simply had to be made.

 The first surprise…once I finally made the decision, overcame my fear, stepped off the high dive board and began my decent into the waiting water I became so focused on getting there, the fear and the reality of my overall ‘fresh start’ goal disappeared. My focus became Step One; selling the house and getting rid of a ton of stuff.

The second surprise was the realization of just how settled into my comfort level, habit, rut; call it whatever you want, I had become. Interestingly I would not have thought this. We all have routines; when we wake, the ritual of making coffee, the yard, pool and duties we should do that become the white noise of our lives. When everything familiar is either packed away in a box to be opened at some undecided date in the future or is possibly gone it hit me. It was then when I realized just how much of my life was ‘habit’. It might not be exactly what I had envisioned but my life is definitely different now and a good part of my routine as I knew it simply doesn’t exist. The good news; also gone are a large portion of my bills. Woo hoo!

The third and perhaps biggest surprise for me was how all this has made me feel. Yes I experienced all the expected emotions; exhilaration, excitement, frustration, disappointment, at times I was discouraged and then encouraged, teary, irritable, giddy and  any other emotion you can possibly think of. But when it was all said and done I certainly did not expect the final emotions. I had envisioned and anticipated the champagne popping over the top celebration similar to the New Years Eve celebrations you see on TV. However that is not how I felt at all. I was relieved, truly spent and very pleased with the results but it I simply felt a slow realization that ‘step one’ was done.  Now after a month of recuperation I find I am thinking ‘what now?’  

To be continued…

The Fifth Cup!

Are you having Coffee with Debi and Doug?

If so you won’t want to miss today’s discussion…

 Doug offers a rather tired and sensitive  Debi some advice on just how to  progress on her big decision to drastically alter her lifestyle! 

Doug finally does it… he trips right over a giant land mine and he doesn’t even know he did it!! This is a classic representation of the glaring difference in how men and women communicate and the problems it can cause…

Our first disagreement…

Click HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!

And have a listen!

Perhaps you could offer Doug a little advice on how to talk to a woman who is going through a new experience and a little tired and sensitive! We (I’d) love to hear…bless his heart.

See you there!

P.S. Also want to let you know that the Positive Attitude Workshop site’s facelift is 99.5% complete so I hope you’ll take a moment to visit!  By the way the Serious Summer Sale, even though it’s not summer, will continue  while the final touches to the site are completed and the Motivational Store   has some of the coming inspirational goodies available! I hope you will take advantage of  the ridiculously low prices on the 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships E-course and new CD! CLICK HERE NOW!

Weekly Success Tip

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together.”

~Marilyn Monroe~

Learn when to let go!

There is a difference between a Challenge and Futility. One is invigorating and the other is depleting. If you find yourself consistently lacking time, money, energy, joy or inspiration chances are good something in your life is not working for you and it might be time to let go and discover what is right for you. Sometimes we get so focused on trying to succeed we fail to realize there might be a reason something isn’t working! Here is a little exercise to help you turn on the lights!

Exercise: What’s Your Satisfaction Temperature?

Take some quiet time in a place where you are comfortable and not likely to be interrupted. On a sheet of paper write the following questions down and on a scale of 1-10, one being completely unsatisfied and 10 being perfectly content, place your score beneath each question. Put a little thought into the questions and be as honest with yourself as possible but don’t over think it.

1. How satisfied are you with your life overall?
2. How much fun are you having in your life?
3. How happy are you in your current career?
4. How overwhelmed, busy or cluttered do you currently feel?

Next go back to each of these questions and identify which of the following you would need to make you happier or more satisfied with the particular aspect of your life the question refers to. (There can be more than one for each question and add your own description if you have one.) Write the descriptive words under the question next to your rating.

• To be accepted
• To be acknowledged
• To have peace
• To be cared for
• To be loved
• To have order
• To be needed
• To have recognition
• To be free
• To accomplish
• To control
• To be comfortable

Last step:

Now go back and define what each of the terms you applied to the questions means to you? If you wrote to be accepted, define what exactly would make you feel accepted and why it is important to you. Try to define as clearly as possible what the term means to you with regards to the question you applied it to.

Have a fabulous week!

Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach

Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah

deborah@womenintransitiononline.com

 

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