A NEW TOOL FOR YOU!

…Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home.
   The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.
       - Charles Swindoll

It’s finished! It’s Done! And you helped create it!  

Recently I held a workshop that many of you attended. I asked for your input and if you would share with me the key things you would find most helpful and what would be the easiest way for you to receive and absorb it. (After all, it’s only helpful if you actually get through it, right?) Soooo…

  Thank you to all who responded.

This new system is now available for you and I believe this is something that will truly enhance your life, support your progress and magnify your success!

To hear more about it please click the link below and it will take you to a short presentation…

 The 3 Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships 

P.S. I have a NEW free gift for you!  Download your F.R.E.E. Special Report; Conquering Change, Take the Scary out of Transitions and receive my complimentary bi-monthly ezine by filling out the big green box at the top of the page!

Do you have the Summer Doldrums?

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain

Here is a list of 25 fun and thoughtful things you can do to cheer someone else up (and yourself in the process):

1. Reverse gossip; share something nice about someone you know.
2. Send an older person a beautiful card, (did you know old folks tend to not get a lot of mail these days and they love it!).
3. Forfeit the war for the good parking space with a smile and a wave.
4. Pay a nice compliment to a stranger.
5. Spray your neighbor’s weeds while you’re out spraying your own!
6. Spend an afternoon chatting with people at a Senior Center! These folks are lovely and very friendly.
7. Grab a shopping cart from the grocery parking lot on your way into the store.
8. Ask to speak to a manager and comment on what a good job you think they are doing.
9. Offer to take care of someone’s children for an afternoon so  mom can have a few hours to herself.
10. Offer to water someone’s plants while they are on vacation.
11. Include someone you know in one of your regular activities.
12. Send or take a care package to someone who is sick.(books, magazines and their favorite goodies)
13. Offer to go to the grocery store for an older person in your neighborhood.
14. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
15. Let someone with just a few items go ahead of you in the checkout line.
16. Share your special skill with someone who is interested in learning it.
17. Adopt a pet from a shelter that is going to be euthanized.
18. Wave to a child in a car.
19. Volunteer your time for a worthy cause.
20. Take dog bones, food and toys to a dog shelter.
21. While you’re at it, volunteer to walk a few dogs.
22. Smile and say hello to everyone you see today.
23. Take the time to pay someone a sincere compliment on their appearance or something they are doing.
24. Leave a surprise anonymous gift, flower or plant on someone’s doorstep or desk at the office.
25. Don’t just hemorrhage from laughter…alert your friend about the toilet paper strand that is stuck to her shoe as she prances out of the restroom at the restaurant.

Do you have any ideas on how to cheer someone up? We’d love to hear them… please share them in the comments section below! Stay cool, stay positive and enjoy your summer!

P.S. For more ideas on how to stay positive sign up for the F.R.E.E. 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course and receive my complimentary bi-monthly ezine by filling out the big green box at the top of the page!

MILE MARKERS – are you counting?

It’s truly amazing and a little hard to believe I am a grandmother and my little girl and best friend is a very efficient loving creative Mother. I really do marvel at the job she is doing!

Saturday was my adorable granddaughter’s first ballet recital. Yup, a star is born. As I watched her confidently dancing in her beautiful blue costume my heart swelled with pride and joy. It seems like only yesterday it was my Lexi up there performing. Where did the time go?

After the show as we filed out of the auditorium to wait with flowers for our little celebrity I ran into a couple of Alexis’s friends from high school, now with little stars of their own.  It seems like only yesterday these very women were only girls whispering and giggling on the phone together. Where did the time go?

If I close my eyes, become very still and think back I can almost remember the feeling of being on the stage myself; the smell of backstage, the camaraderie of my fellow performers and the bonding ceremony of putting on our stage makeup. Where did the time go?

As my mother and I crowed about how fabulous our Kenzi did the conversation drifted to a time in my mother’s past when she danced for her father with her dance class at the veteran’s hospital, just before her father died. She still remembers her mother sewing special velvet dots on her costume wings when the other girls only had ink spots on their wings. Where did the time go?

As I write this post I wonder if Alexis knows how special these times are and is she really taking the time to really savor the moment.  Not just the photo image but all the details of the glorious and juicy emotions of these mile markers.  There will come a time when she will say where did the time go?

Mile markers, are you counting them? Are you really taking them in? Are you making moments?

But more importantly…is there something more you want to do? Is there something you’ve been waiting to do “when the time is right?” Don’t wait, time flies, do it now. Five or ten years from now you will be looking at photographs and saying, where did the time go?

Time is our most precious commodity. Find your passion. Unearth those buried desires and dreams and start now. If you wait for the perfect time it will never come.

“Don’t do nothing because you can’t do everything.  Do something.  Anything.”

 Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

Does Your Attitude Need a Little Work?

There are very few things having a positive attitude can’t make better.  Simply stated the most successful and happy people have one.  A positive attitude is like anything else; you have to work at it and on it. If you don’t continue using it – it gets flabby so…

How’s your attitude lately?

Take this short quiz and find out!

 

Get This – Survey Results – GlowDay.com

Could your attitude use some work? I invite you to join me (as my guest) for the FUN F.R.E.E. Positive Attitude Workshop on Tuesday, May 25th at 5:00pm Pacific.

Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
– Author Unknown

There is still time to join us, scroll down below and register today!

P.S. By the way, I am really hoping you can make this call but I know there are times when, well…things just happen. So rest assured you won’t miss a thing. If you register a recorded version of the call will be sent to you if for some reason you are unable to attend.

P.P.S. If you receive this via email click http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/deborah-speaks/ to view the quizz!

Have you heard the News?

If you aren’t subscribed to my bi-monthly ezine you may not have heard the news!

You see, I am unveiling my new Interactive Workshop and I would be honored if you would attend the first of the Three Part Sessions F.R.E.E. as my special guest.

It’s my way of saying thank you to all of you  who’ve supported me by requesting my 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course, reading my newsletter regularly and, of course, those of you who I have had the privilege of working with!

Many of you have been reading my blog from when it first went Live and have witnessed the many changes that have occurred here.   

(So today I’d like to take this opportunity to Thank You and say congratulations to you all for taking action to improve your lives and Get Your Year in Gear!)

Now, it’s MY turn to give you something back…

I cordially invite you to join me for the first Session, via teleconference call, of the power packed Positive Attitude Workshop entitled:

 

SECRETS of a POSTIVE ATTITUDE REVEALED
How to acquire and maintain a positive attitude
And revitalize your life, goals and relationships

This workshop is designed enhance your ability to implement the 5 simple habits in the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment e-course. (By the way, if you don’t currently subscribe to my e-zine or have yet to take the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course, you can do so by putting your name and email address in the Big Green Box at the top of the page!)

  During this fun and enlightening interactive call with me, you’ll discover:
 
• How to recognize negative programming habits that tear down personal motivation and hinder your success.
• The relationship between intent and attitude and how to use it to your advantage.
• New insight into how you personally process information. 
• A simple and enlightening exercise to clarify your best traits and the best way to focus on them.
• The number one reason why most people aren’t able to change their habits and how to correct it.
• And much, much more…

This workshop includes interesting activities and exercises that will encourage you to reflect, engage and expand your understanding and learning. You will come to see the significance of acquiring a positive attitude and how to create and maintain one.

So Please Be My Guest and Join me on this F.R.E.E. Interactive call where we will reveal the Secrets to a Positive Attitude:

Reserve Your Seat Now
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
5:00 pm PT and 8:00 pm ET

Discover the Value something as simple sounding as “A POSITIVE ATTITUDE” can have on your personal and business relationships, goals and life dreams! By the way, I am really hoping you can make this call but I know there are times when, well…things just happen. So rest assured you won’t miss a thing. If you register a recorded version of the call will be sent to you after if you are unable to attend. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me. I always love hearing from you.

 I hope you can join me on the 25th!  

Sincerely,  

Deborah Hayes                                                                                                                                                                                                deborah@womenintransitiononline.com  

P.S. One more favor! Can you help me spread the word? If you know someone who would be interested in” Discovering the Secrets of a Positive Attitude” please forward this email to them and ask them to join us! If you do bring someone with you tell them to put your name on the registration in the “referred by” box on the form and you’ll receive a special bonus from me which I will tell you about at the end of the call!    

P.P.S. Please know that I am very excited about the interactive feature of our call.  We will have the opportunity to converse at times during the call! However it will require me to limit the number of participants, so please act now by clicking on the link below and register today!

SEATS ARE LIMITED

 Tuesday, May 25th

5:00 pm Pacific Time

Reserve Your Seat Now

What do Synchronicity and Positive Attitude Have in Common?

Well  for me this week… a lot. The definition of synchronicity is the coincidence of events that seem related, but are not obviously caused one by the other.

I don’t know about you but I have always been intrigued by this concept and yesterday I believe I have experienced just such an event!!! Really, the craziest thing just happened to me.

You know, for the past month or so I have been working VERY hard on a new workshop I will be unveiling very soon. Consequently I have been doing an awful lot of research, writing and working some very long solitary hours. As a result of this I am afraid I have fallen into a bad habit. I find myself becoming lost in the project and looking up to find it is evening and my brain is simply numb and empty. Lately I have been stumbling into the TV room, turning it on with the intention of turning the brain off for a little while and I wind up spending the rest of the evening in a television stupor. It doesn’t seem to even matter what I watch!

Now if you read my blog much you all know how I feel about television and its effect on our creativity and attitude. I am one who would like to find the strength to simply get rid of my television entirely. So I have to tell you I was definitely feeling guilty  spewing about the evils of TV and being the very one who was watching news and murder mysteries till the wee hours of the night! Yup, shame on me.  

So here’s the synchronicity thing…

Last night I had just finished writing the article, “Positive Attitude and Staying Fired Up” for this week’s e-zine and I sauntered into the den and switched on the cable news channel and silently told myself, “Geez, I have to stay somewhat connected to the world, right? I’ve hardly been out of this house. I’ll just watch it for a little while and then turn it off.”

The den lit up and the sound of my favorite commentator filled the silence as I went and prepared a salad. Just as I sat down at the breakfast bar to eat it while I watched it suddenly switched off. Just like that it was silent. Hmmm. Ok, I’ll just reboot the cable box. That’s the problem for sure. Four minutes later it switched off again. This rather frustrating scenario repeated itself about four times and then it happened.

I noticed the soft red blinking indicator light on the front of the TV. A sinking feeling ensued followed by frustration and anger. The “Lamp Unit” has burned out. Now this has happened once before and will happen again but for now there will be NO TV until I order the part and replace it.

As I  mentally fretted about what I might do with the rest of this evening to unwind it occurred to me I had just finished writing an article about staying fired up and even offered an exercise  to help us notice how negativity can creep itself into our lives and the effect it has on our attitude.

Doctor heal thyself! Here’s the good news:

 I eventually closed my tired eyes, dusted off and listened to one of my favorite motivation tapes. Very inspiring and pleasant I might add.

Tonight, which is approaching, I plan to dig through and revisit some of my forgotten and favorite CD’s I discovered while digging for the manual for the TV. I am actually looking forward to this. There are some great memories in these songs!

I will also spend some quiet time on my porch enjoying the last of the cool evenings and have a really good conversation with myself. It’s a perfect opportunity to the listen to some of thoughts or conversations that occur in my head.

Did you know that the average person has over 60,000 thoughts per day! Amazing isn’t? I told you I’ve been researching!! Silence, it’s a good thing.

If you are interested in learning more about the 5 simple habits that can change your life sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course!

P.S. By the way, watch for the upcoming F.R.E.E. Attitude Adjustment Workshop coming VERY soon!

The Best Laid Plans and Habit #3

Couldn’t resist taking this golden opportunity to share a perfect example of the value of Finding Positive Aspects in Negative Occurrences; Habit #3 in the Attitude Adjustment Course. This glowing example was offered by my daughter last week when she went to take her dog for his monthly allergy shot.

With a three year old and several other dogs Alexis normally performs this errand while her daughter is napping and someone can babysit. Thursday she decided to multi task and take the 45 minutes drive to the vet with her daughter and one of her other dogs. As she arrived at her destination there was a note on the door announcing new and reduced office hours and the different locations now available for visits; also a 45 minute drive from her house.  This news meant she was not going to be able to accomplish this task this day.

With a packed schedule speckled with errands for her daughter’s birthday celebration on Saturday in addition to her normal duties she was in a word FRUSTRATED. Now there would not be an opportunity to get the dogs shot until sometime next week.

The first thing she did was call me, huffing and puffing and intent on circling the following issues:

1)      She had wasted an hour plus of her tightly planned day and accomplished nothing.

2)      The new office hours/locations now meant that she would have to carefully plan the visit in the future and loose the flexibility of working this task into her schedule and arriving when the opportunity occurred.

3)      She felt her ENTIRE day was now ruined.

I let her rant and rave a bit and then offered her some of my “motherly coach advice” which, just so you know, doesn’t work on family members and least of all daughters.  

She would have none of it. She was intent on focusing on the” issues”.  The more she spoke the more negative she became about the remainder of her day.

I tried to bring her back to reality using one of the steps in habit #3.

Coach mom: Is there anything you can do to immediately to rectify the situation at this moment?

Frustrated daughter: No, no of course there is nothing I can do. I am furious… the day is ruined and this is way too long of a car trip for Kenzi without a break. She is becoming restless, I put a movie in for her which won’t turn on and now I’ll have to pull over and, and, and, and, (More ranting).

Coach mom: What would be your options?

Frustrated daughter:  (Louder) I don’t have any options; this is terrible now this will be even more difficult …. I have spent the whole day on this and accomplished nothing and now I’ll never get the rest of what I need to do… etc. etc. (by the way, the time is 11:00 am in the morning!)

Don’t do this coach thing on me. I am not looking for a solution I am simply venting.

It was at this point I realized that I was not going to be able to get her to look at anything other than the problem and participate in watching it grow exponentially with the length of the conversation.

My options:   Listen to her rant and rave and lower my own energy in the process or express how sorry I was to hear her day was not going well and hang up. I chose the latter. (See you can teach old dogs new tricks!)

Was that the end of it? Not quite, she immediately called my mother to rant some more where she received the predictable advice of how she had too many animals and duties and not enough time for them all and the logical solution was to reduce the number of animals, thereby creating more time for her. (Yikes!)

This is fighting language for my animal advocating rescuing daughter whose apparent passion is to find a way to save them all; TODAY, if not sooner!

The outcome; Not as traumatic as it appeared and the options were:

1)      Find another vet closer to her home who could administer the monthly shot.

2)      Purchase the serum and administer the shot herself, an option offered and tried at the beginning of the treatment which did not work out.

3)       Succumb to planning the exact day of the month at the preferred location and show up then.

Of course she came to these options, or at least I think she did. However instead of stopping to look at her options, choosing a course of action, when she would do it, writing it down and letting it go for the rest of the day she left it in her head and it still rears its ugly head in our conversations.

Other bad news; her sour mood continued throughout the day exhausting her. She ultimately took a nap with her daughter and did not accomplish the other 5 errands on her list. The remainder of the weekend… well I think you can imagine, we’ve all been there; my poor baby.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? It certainly does to me. (It’s always easier to see it in someone else!)

The good news is if we set a conscious intention and practice the habit of pivoting out of these incidents we can change the way we react to them when they occur to us.

If you are interested in learning more about the 5 simple habits that can change your life sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course!

P.S. By the way, watch for the upcoming F.R.E.E. Attitude Adjustment Workshop coming soon!

Woman in the News, Ms. Chloe Jon Paul

It gives me great pleasure to share a recent interview with Chloe Jon Paul, author of Entering the Age of Elegance: A Rite of Passage & Practical Guide for the Modern Maturing Woman. What is the age of elegance? I quote from the opening paragraph of her wonderful book:

The Age of Elegance denotes that period of a woman’s life also known as Second Adulthood. Every woman who reaches the age of forty has the opportunity to welcome and embrace the opportunity to move into this time period with style and grace.

            While elegance is not restricted to a particular age group since there are many young women who exhibit elegance, it is the older woman who can exemplify what it means to age elegantly

Chloe Jon Paul

 

Cleverly written as a travel guide this book is full of inspiration, practical advice, useful resources and many precious pearls of wisdom. I highly recommend this entertaining and incredibly useful “guide” to all of us who choose to live fully and passionately with style and grace.

MY INTERVIEW WITH CHLOE:

I:  What prompted you to write this book?

C:  After speaking with many women here and abroad, I discovered that there are many women out there who don’t have a clue as to who they really are at an age when it is so important to have a true identity.

I:   What qualifies you to write this kind of book?

C:  While I don’t consider myself an “expert”, I feel that I’ve had enough experience in all the areas that I cover in the book that enable me to share lots of valuable information.  Additionally, my ability to do the research required is a plus.

I:    Is there any one thing in particular that you hope to accomplish through your book?

C:   I want to see women defy the myths of aging and embrace this stage of their lives graciously and enthusiastically.

I:   Why did you decide to treat it as a “travel guide”?

C:  As a seasoned traveler myself, I know the importance of a good travel guide.  Since entering the age of elegance is such an important journey, it seemed logical to me to write it in that fashion.  While testing out the book’s potential, I got a “thumbs up” from countless women (and men!)

I:   What do you say to women who are afraid of getting old?

C:  I think that if they read my book, they’ll get all the answers they need.  In one section of the book I discuss the ten major fears women have about aging.

I:   What do you consider the most important statement you have made in this book?

C:   I think it is well-defined in the Epilogue which reads in part:

            A wise Indian guru once described humans as being a house with four rooms: the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. He said that we tend to spend most of our time I only one of those rooms and that it would be in our best interests to visit each room daily.

 

I:  Beautifully said. I also like the last paragraph where you wrote:

            Remember how we used to refer to the main subjects taught in school as the 3 R’s? Well, now you have another set of 3 R’s to think about: reflect, resolve, and regenerate.

• Reflect on what you have read and develop an action plan.
• Resolve to put your action plan to work immediately and aim for consistency.
• Regenerate into the vibrant, graceful, elegant person you were meant to be.

 

           

I:   I guess the final question would be; what can you share about your own journey into the Age of Elegance?

 C:  Do you have another two hours to spare?  It has been a fabulous journey for me.  That doesn’t mean that I haven’t had my share of problems and disappointments.  I have learned to visit those four rooms that I talk about in my book daily and it has made all the difference in the world.

I:  Well, it certainly has worked for you. After reading all that you have accomplished since the age of 55 in your bio I can honestly say you are truly and inspiration to us all! I want to thank you for taking the time to speak with me.

In addition to this wonderful book Ms. Paul has written an E book, “What Happens Next? A Family Guide to Nursing Home Visits…and More”. For information about her new E book Visit http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/9501

Do you have a great story, we want to hear it! Are you experiencing some delicious success or fulfilling a dream, inspire us! Have you started a new business, tell us about it! SHARE YOUR STORY. Submit your information to Women in the News at http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/deborah-speaks/women-in-the-news/.

I Dared You… how did you do?

Whew, the week has come and gone and I don’t know about you but I found this past week to be full of surprises!

What did I discover? Here are a few answers to my own questions:

1. What did you do in lieu of watching TV?
   • I mowed the front lawn at 5:30 in the evening. This is definitely unusual!
   • I finished a couple of half read books.
   • I spent a couple of wonderful evenings with my granddaughter, mom and daughter.
   • I took the time to revisit my goals/vision journal and found myself adding to it!
   • I actually cooked myself a meal, lit a candle and enjoyed a leisurely glass of wine.
   • I used some of my evening time to meditate and breath.
   • I listened to some of my favorite inspirational tapes.
   • I took the time to dust off and ride my bike with my friend!
2. How did you feel?
   • Very anxious at first.
3. What did you like about it?
   • Eventually the incredible awareness of myself and surroundings.
   •  I did not feel mentally or physically tired or exhausted at night.
4. What did you dislike about it?
   • I found it very hard to turn off my thoughts to sleep!
5. What surprised you about this experience?
   • I was very surprised at the amount of “found time” I discovered.
   • I was also shocked at the amount of TV I had been watching and how unaware of it I was.
6. Do you think it made a difference in your mood or attitude?
   • I felt better and had more energy.
   • It was not so much that I was happier and more positive, which I was, but more importantly that I was much more in touch with what I was feeling whether it was good or bad.
7. And of course… did you cheat?
   • Just twice!!!!!

So how did you do? You know you don’t need a challenge to try this experiment. You can start enjoying the sound of your thoughts whenever and as often as you like.

Now for the rest of the story… visit this week’s e-zine. Here is the link to the page http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/current-issue

If you are not currently receiving the bi-monthly e-zine and would like to:

Here is the email link http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/join.asp?merchantid=160571

March 4th IS PLEDGE DAY!

 

Take the Challenge!

Are you going to join me?  Pledge to not watch TV for 7 DAYS, or whatever you think you can manage! I am posting this today thinking most of you probably won’t read this until tomorrow sometime. I have received a couple of emails with some pertinent questions and suggestions surrounding this event and I will share them with you below:

Suggestion: A couple of you felt a better start date, with the weekend approaching, would be Monday.

I agree, and really, you should start your pledge on whatever day you think will work best for you! For me the weekend is the time when I typically am out and about a lot I and watch the least amount of TV. If you think it would be easiest to give up TV during the week this, is what you should do!

Question: A couple more of you felt a week might be a little aggressive and wondered if committing to less time to start would be advisable.

Again, Good Point! I have done this before on a couple of occasions so I guess I am less apprehensive. You should all do whatever feels right for you. I can tell you it does help to have a partner or friend to share the experience with. The one thing I noticed on the two occasions I have done this is the amazing amount of found time I had and the quandary of what to do with it all.

Whatever you do, I hope you will share your experience, as I will, in the comment section at the end of this post. Every time I do this I swear I am not going to watch TV EVER Again!! But like all bad habits; it’s so easy to fall back into them so refresher courses are great! I have found that I fall back into the bad habit when I feel the need to watch something positive, like the Olympics, or something I feel is very important, like the President, Republicans and Democrats purposing to discuss health care… that’s not really what I saw but it was an interesting experiment in human behavior, or misbehavior!!!! But I try not to discuss politics or religion. My motto, to each his own!

Anyway, when I do indulge in something I think is positive, I find, via commercials, I get plenty of negative messages in the process!!! But like kicking any bad habit; if you fall off simply start again. Eventually you will find less of a need for a refresher course and you will be ready to sell your TV!!!!!!

If you want to publicly commit, sign up in the comment section at the end of this post or feel free to email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. If you missed the previous post about this event and need further instruction, scroll down to the I Dare You…dont listen post.

 

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Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach

Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah

480-656-2026
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com

 

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