Thanksgiving and the Holiday Attitude of Gratitude
Too Pretty to Eat!
In a matter of a few days it will be Thanksgiving . That special day when we gather our families and loved ones together and celebrate all that is good in our lives.
We all have our traditions; watching the parades, the camaraderie of cooking the feast in a kitchen with way too many cooks in it and visits from friends to toast the season and share some pie. For most of us it’s a special day filled with families, loved ones, pleasant thoughts and warm feelings of gratitude.
Practicing gratitude has long been known as a key to happiness. Study after study shows those who are in the habit of giving thanks for all they have on a regular basis have more positive attitudes and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives as well as better health.
Given all the benefits why is it we can’t seem to maintain these feelings throughout the year? Wouldn’t it be nice to bottle these feelings and take a small dose of it daily?
Well actually that is not as farfetched as it sounds. By making a few small changes in the way we look at things and committing to putting more emphasis on the ‘good’ that occurs in our daily lives we all have the opportunity to sustain a more positive outlook and attitude. It’s simply a matter of practice and creating a new habit.
There are many things in each of our days to be grateful for if we only take the time and effort to look for them. Here are a 3 easy ways to help you get in the habit of noticing them:
1) The Gratitude Journal: This is not a new concept but I believe it’s the simple things that make the biggest difference in our lives. Pick up a little notebook and make small daily lists of the things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as receiving an unexpected phone call from an old friend to someone who supported you at a time when you needed help. This doesn’t mean your day will be perfect. But if you take the time to look for the good things that occur there are far more of them in your day than the momentary problems you might encounter. Keep this where you can see it and it will remind you to think positively.
2) The Rewrite Strategy: There are times when we may be going through a particularly trying time and we may find it difficult to find the positive in a daily way. As we hurry through our day and duties it is easy not to notice our negative statements. This exercise is a great way to become more aware of what we are saying to ourselves and others. Try this! It’s a great way to shift your attitude!
- Take a sheet of paper or you can do this on a page of your journal if you are keeping one and draw a line down the center of the page to make two columns.
- During the day write down any negative statements you find yourself making on one side of the column.
- At the end of the day on the other side of the column rewrite each of the negative statements into a positive statement.
3) Appreciation Token: Nothing is as rewarding as extending a kind gesture to someone, particularly if it is unexpected. Here’s a really FUN and AFFORDABLE ($5.00!) way to give thanks and spread gratitude. I discovered this site and just had to share it!
http://www.tofa.us/ Spread gratitude and appreciation in the world with this trackable gratitude coin. A token of appreciation that simply says “Thank you for making a difference in my day”.
There are many things to be grateful for: the first cup of coffee in the morning, slipping your feet into well worn slippers after a long day, people who love you no matter what, grandchildren who squeal with delight and jump into your arms when they see you, a long chat with an old friend, the opportunity to help someone who needs it without being asked, chocolate covered almonds, pets who warm your life…always and unconditionally, hitting every green light when your late, leisurely watching a sunset, fresh cut flowers, laughter.
Gratitude is taking the time to notice what is special in the most common of occurrences and then taking the time to appreciate it. What’s on your list?
P.S. If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven’t danced in the rain. ~unknown~
By the way…the 21 day Attitude Adjustment Course is NOW on SALE - HALF PRICE!
Life Change – Clutter Therapy for the Mind
Wow, we are having such an incredible experience in the Adventure Fest Boot Camp Mastermind and the energy created is producing powerful ideas and actions! The mutual support, contributions and group accountability has proved to be a delicious recipe for growth!
This past week we were exploring how the people we surround ourselves with and the environments we spend our time in can make a huge impact on our lives. This discussion proved to be very insightful and really got me thinking!
Clutter Therapy
How can something as simple, (or as difficult!) as de-cluttering a closet and removing items that no longer fit in our lives actually create a more positive outlook for the future and provide new energy to break free of old habits and move forward?
When your environment is cluttered, your mind is cluttered.
As my daughter Alexis says:
“The less clutter you have in your home, the clearer you are when you walk out the door.”
Or in the door for that matter! I think we all can connect with the feeling of walking into a clean orderly house after a long or stressful day. The difference is night and day.
The truth is, mental and physical clutter are well known sources of stress and tend to creep into every facet of our lives affecting our ability to think clearly and our enjoyment of life overall. Clutter is an energy sucker that distracts you, weighs you down and can leave you feeling overwhelmed from the moment you open your eyes in the morning.
When you let go of things that no longer fit or are not adding value to your life a huge new source of energy becomes available to you and your mind has room to breathe and space for new ideas!
But what about that mental clutter?
Lately I have begun to notice the number of people who are walking their dogs or with their children at the park and even companions out having dinner; all with their I-pods in front of their face instead of enjoying the moment.
Today we are constantly bombarded with messages from every sort; commercials, emails, texts and news updates. Most of us have a myriad of obligations and activities on top of that!
So I guess it’s really not that hard to see why spending a bit of time de-cluttering your world and mind might reap some major benefits in anyone’s life but especially if you are trying to work on changing your life or achieve a much wanted goal!
Here are a few ideas to help get you started:
Start with any area that frustrates you the most! Now I’m not an organizing expert but from the majority of women I talk to, including myself, the two biggest areas of concern are the clothes closet and that ‘counter’ which is the drop zone when you bring in mail or come in the door.
- The closet:
- If you haven’t worn it in over a year – donate or toss it.
- If it needs altering and you haven’t done it in 6 months – donate or toss.
- If you wear it but don’t really like it – donate or toss.
- If it doesn’t fit right – get rid of it! I can see keeping a couple of goal items but delegating a whole section of a closet to clothes you wore 5 – 10 years ago is NOT incentive. I actually pulled several items from my closet that had been there so long the moths had decided to eat them and I didn’t even know it!
- Then move onto the shoes. Again, if they are not comfortable and if you don’t actually like or wear them – donate or toss.
- Next the drop zone:
- Go through the pile and separate according to what it is; bills, to be filed, junk/trash. Mine usually includes a large amount of junk mail and a surprisingly small amount of items that actually need to be kept.
- The BIG thing is to devise a plan to KEEP it from accumulating again.
- Plug into your schedule, right now, a time to get the mail and immediately sit and sort through it. It really only takes about 5 -10 minutes to take bills to where you pay them, put coupons in a folder, file what needs to be filed and throw the rest out!
- Take the time to find a different place for your purse and keys. Purchase the folders, baskets or boxes for depositing the items you normally leave in your drop zone and put them where you want them to belong!
- Now for the Therapy part: (These came up in one of our Mastermind Boot Camp Sessions and they are both really good!
- One way to get a big burst of energy is to take a room you spend a lot of time in and go through and de-clutter it; donating and tossing old and unwanted items in the room. Remove any clutter from tables and drawers. Then re-arrange the furniture and purchase some new pillows to create a new fresh look. You will be surprised to find after making this change you might just have a new way of looking at other things in your life as well!
- De-Clutter your information overload: In this fast paced digital world we live in today it is easy for information overload to creep in. Set some limits!
- Get rid of some of your RSS feeds.
- Unsubscribe from updates from companies whose products you are no longer interested in.
- Get rid of files and programs you don’t need.(Your computer will also thank you)
- Consider checking your face book or emails only at certain times of the day.
- Speaking of information overload…while you’re at it try reducing the amount of television you watch!
When you get in the habit of devoting a little bit of time getting rid of accumulated clutter on a REGULAR basis you’ll reap the rewards of not only a more pleasant environment but also reduced stress and a lot more room for creativity! So start small but work on it on a scheduled regular basis and don’t beat yourself up if it isn’t finished on your first or second visit! As you stay at it you will soon find it’s DONE!
As Bruce Lee says:
Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.
P.S. Don’t forget to check out the NEXT ‘How to Get a New Perspective on the Rest of Your Life discussion on October 19th! Click Here for more info and to join us.
That’s what I’m talkin about…
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
–Satchel Paige
Retirement? That's what I'm talkin about...
I couldn’t resist. I saw this attractive ‘mature’ couple coming out of a retirement center. They walked out the front door and hopped onto this Way Cool Motorcycle and off they went. I wish I could have taken a better picture but they were movin way too fast. The front of this motorcycle looked like some sort of a vintage car?? Check out those tires and, I think they are called rims. Love it.
Inspiring, isn’t it? So how old do you think you are?
P.S. I’ve been working on something new and fun and I’m really looking forward to sharing it with you! I’ll be ‘unveiling’ it soon but in the mean time…
Have an Amazing Day!!
Change, Commitment and Memories
If you subscribe to my e-zine you have read the article I wrote about my commitment to alter my lifestyle. After hearing and reading about people who sold and got rid of all or at least most of their belongings to facilitate a freer lifestyle and create a new life, I have made the decision to do just that. California here I come!
Common area at one of the apartments I visited!
The thought of it is so exciting and indeed I am feeling very alive but the process has also brought a lot of personal insight that I did not expect. Of course change is inevitable and happens whether we want it to or not but I find this voluntary ‘purging’ has brought with it an avalanche of decisions, unexpected insights and a flood of options. Yes options! That’s the good news.
I am in the very first steps of the process which is code for ‘sell the house’ in an interesting market and of course get rid of a lifetime of stuff. In my fantasy I would simply call the painters, landscapers etc., they would descend on my house like in the home makeover reality shows and in a week there would be a ‘I’m gorgeous inside’ for sale sign in my front yard. The reality is I have just taken on three or four full time jobs! You see, in all those accounts of the New Life Change I read about, everything in between the decision and the happy outcome was not actually fully covered!
Yup, this purge thing brings new meaning to the self discovery process. Revelation One; as women of a certain age somewhere along the way we become the keepers of the family STUFF! These are things no one in the family wants to store; they are too precious for them to toss so the matriarch’s duty is to keep them for posterity. (no one ever sees them again for 30-40+ years) For instance, I find myself wondering how I wound up with the reel to reel 50’s movies of what I assume is my entire childhood; there is an additional 2-3 big boxes of photos of my daughter’s childhood, my first and second weddings and who knows what else! I honestly don’t even know if they are still good and I certainly don’t have the equipment, or time, to play the old movies … so what do you do with them? Just for fun, ask any of the members of the family if they want them and be sure to cover your ears and be prepared for the guilt trip if you divulge the imminent destiny for them…”you’re going to throw them away?” I must say it’s like a knife in the heart. Now multiply this by 1000 and be prepared for the softly spoken comment “I gave you that when I was 5 years old” as you go through the other lifetime of accumulated stuff! Long story short, just know there are moments when this is hard. I know, I know… I have already placed a ‘schedule a family photo box party’ somewhere on the ever growing list of to do’s and plan to write ‘come or forever hold your piece’ on the invite!
But for now I am practicing my own advice in Success Tip #7 which I will post here for those of you who do not subscribe to my e-zine. Even if you are not purging everything you own you will find it helpful, as I have, during any change you may be experiencing.
WEEKLY SUCCESS TIP #7
“The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future, both you and your future begin to change.”
– Marilee Zdenek
During a transition focus on positive emotions!
During the course of our lives we all experience change. Sometimes these changes are planned and many times they are not. Regardless of the reason when you are in a period of transition here are 3 important tips from the conquering change audio series to remember:
- Change can cause us to question our long held beliefs and values which is a good thing because it keeps us growing and in touch with our evolving selves!
- Moving through change can be uncomfortable and feel awkward but it is the only way to move forward. Understanding these feelings are normal can help to keep you from retreating back into the status quo!
- Refusing to change does not mean that the world won’t change around you. Refusing to change means you’ll be left behind.
One of the most important things you can do when you are in the process of a change is to focus on your positive emotions and to “alter your perception of yourself and your future.” Here is an exercise that will enhance your ability to see yourself and future differently.
1) Imagine your new self at your very best. Imagination will help you set the stage for visualizing yourself in the future. Here’s a fun way to look at this. If you were in a cocoon, what kind of butterfly would emerge?
- When you imagine yourself at your best, what do you see?
- Do you see yourself healthy?
- Do you see yourself successful in the work you do?
- Do you see yourself having happy, nurturing relationships?
- When you imagine your best self, what are you doing?
- Are you learning something new?
- Are you on a new adventure – one that you’ve always longed for?
- Are you enjoying your family and close friends?
Even if you are not in the middle of a major change this exercise will keep you fresh and alert for possibilities. Change happens whether we like it or not. Life gives us opportunities every day and embrace change, to bounce back and to grow!
JUST TO ADD A COUPLE OF ITEMS OF ADVICE TO THIS:
Be sure to eat properly during this process. (Particularly the green stuff in the Fridge that you normally use for science research)
Get plenty of rest and be easy on yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day and sometimes tomorrow is soon enough.
Realize there will be moments when you are overly tired and sensitive!
THIS BRINGS ME TO:
HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!
Be sure to check back tomorrow for the recorded Coffee with Debi and Doug discussion. You won’t want to miss this one. Doug finally does it… he trips right over a giant land mine and he doesn’t even know he did it!! This is a classic representation of the glaring difference in how men and women communicate and the problems it can cause…
Our first disagreement…
Until tomorrow!
Weekly Success Tip #5
Success Tip of the Week#5
“ I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”
Brittany Renee (English Author and Dancer)
Know Yourself
One of the central steps to success and happiness is to know what is truly important to you …now. We all live at such a pace and encounter so many changes in our life it’s so helpful to stop, discover and appreciate what our unique version of the world is. Without this knowledge you can never make the right decisions for you. Take some time to reflect on what is important to you in life and make sure your actions match your true values. Regardless of what you discover until these things are in alignment no amount of action will work!
Take Some Time for Introspection:
This week try to steal some time for yourself and write (best) or at least think about what’s working in your life now and what isn’t. This exercise might give you some real insight as to the reasons why!
Have a fabulous week!
P.S. Be sure to watch for the coming New Fun Feature: How to Talk to a Man Over 50! This is shaping up to be very interesting and I will be sharing some more juicy details later this week! Remember, this new feature is about YOU and your questions and so far they have been great. I have received everything from silly, “why isn’t he willing to shave off his sideburns to make me happy?”, to the more serious, “just what role do men see themselves playing in a relationship these days?” To add your questions to the list simply click deborah@womenintransitiononline.com and email them to me or you can add it below in the comment section!
P.S.S. Remember when we take responsibility for our own happiness and success things really begin to happen. The perfect time to invest in YOU is NOW during the Serious Summer Sale. CLICK HERE NOW!
Success Tip of the Week #4 and MORE
I hope you all enjoyed your long weekend and managed to have some fun and relaxation.
Interestingly this week’s tip fell on Labor Day so I thought it might be fun to deliver it on Tuesday and share a valuable lesson I learned this weekend.
Labor Day signals the end of summer and the weather here in Arizona is finally cooling off. We’re not quite there yet but the early mornings have been pleasant and cooler which is a sure sign that another beautiful winter is finally on its way. It has been a long hot summer and much has been happening here at WITO. As I sat down to write this week’s Success Tip it reminded me of the old days in school when we were all asked to write a report on how we spent our summer vacation. As I pondered this I began to realize just how much has occurred in these summer months!
- A large number of fabulous creative powerful women who dance to the same beat of the drum as I do have joined the WITO Community. In fact the numbers of you have doubled since April and most of it as a result of good old fashion word of mouth. I have had the honor and privilege to personally work with a number of you and celebrate your successes. Thanks to all of you!
- I created all the content and launched, with your wonderful input, the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment e-course.
- I just finished recording and producing my first CD, The 21 Day Attitude Adjustment CD. Both of these tasks required me to tackle and learn numerous technical skills which were previously on the “SCARY” list. (oh for a staff or the more popular term…team)
- I have written numerous articles a few of which were featured on the homepages of large self growth sites.
- I have recently been invited to co-host a teleseminar with a popular published author, (more on this soon) and have recently been approached by other self improvement experts with Joint Venture proposals.
- I am very excited about a new venture I have been working on which will be coming soon. I briefly talked about it in my last e-zine: How to Talk to a Man Over 50! This promises to be as fun for you as it has been for me in the making of it! After an arduous search I finally discovered the perfect person (man) to divulge the unabridged version of what goes on in the minds of men!! I will be filling everyone in on all the juicy details soon but I still am looking for MORE questions. So isn’t there something you are just dying to know? The questions so far have been great and I think some of the answers will surprise you! Please keep them coming and email me your questions at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
What does any of this have to do with the tip of the week? You see there is a very valuable lesson in this that we can all learn from.
As I sat down to write this week’s tip I realized my energy was a little low. Well, ok it was very low and I felt very uninspired and a bit overwhelmed. Even though these milestones might seem small to some they were each wrought with hours of experimentation, research and often frustration. There were many times during this long summer when I was in a word, discouraged at what appeared to me as lack of progress. There were many times when well intentioned people who genuinely care about me offered their gentle suggestions that I should “go back to what I knew” or find something more secure. But each time I listened to some of this “advice” I tried to picture myself doing anything else and I just couldn’t see it. Each time I was ready to concede and perhaps through in the towel something encouraging would occur and lift my confidence and resolve and reassure me of my original purpose. Each time there was a tiny glimpse of what could be.
But here is the interesting part. It really wasn’t apparent to me just how much I had accomplished in three short months until I took the time to sit down and write it all down. It was then that it occurred to me how much I had accomplished and the many lessons I had learned over these summer months. There are way too many to list in this brief article but the biggest thing and what I think is the most important is this:
It is so easy to become discouraged and fall victim to turning our focus on what we don’t have and what we don’t do right that it blinds us to the bigger number of things we do right every day. When we allow this to happen it can begin to appear that we are not doing well when in reality we have accomplished so very much. We often don’t take the time to notice and celebrate our many successes. I am willing to bet the number of your successes far outweigh the small number of “perceived defeats.” In looking only at those perceived defeats you have made them into mountains when they are really only mole hills.
So this week’s tip; focus on all your successes and triumphs, all of them. Write them down and with the intention that nothing is too small. Your list should be really long. When you finish I think you’ll find those successes that seem small to you in comparison to your goal may be huge to someone else who has yet to take the first step. Write them down and read them over again and again. The secret to your inspiration and positive attitude will be in these words!
Now for the MORE!
If you don’t subscribe to my e-zine here are a couple of important updates!!!
The Serious Summer Sale is here! SERIOUS SAVINGS:
21 Day Attitude Adjustment E-course
The 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships:
When we take responsibility for our own success and happiness things really begin to happen. It’s no good to simply read books and think about doing something about our life and attitude in the future. You have to take action! If you’re not as motivated, happy or successful as you’d like to be I’d recommend you take action today. The system that will turn your life around in 21 short days is the 3-Step System for Revitalizing Your Life, Goals and Relationships. It’s available in a convenient online e-course and now includes some pretty fabulous coaching BONUSES! For all the details and to get started on changing the direction of your life FAST at an incredibly affordable price:
Oh, and by the way…this same system is now available in a CD and both are on SALE TODAY through the end of September!
21 Day Attitude Adjustment CD!
The 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships:
The 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships
So what are you waiting for?click this link for all the details and get started today!
Success Tip of the Week #3
Success Tip of the Week: Stress Reducer #3
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” ~Howard Thurman
PLEASING EVERYONE
Is it stressful? Well… not only is it stressful it’s also impossible and yet we often find ourselves in the habit of trying to do this very thing. Oddly enough the more we try to please everyone else the less happy we are, the further away from ourselves we grow and the more people we irritate. No one really wins!
Learn To Say “No”:
This week practice the power of simply saying no to those things you either don’t really have the time for or simply don’t want to do! You may lose a few people you thought were your friends but in the end you will find yourself surrounded by people who choose to be in your life because they love who you really are! This is a formula for a happy life.
Have a Fabulous Week!
Success Tip of the Week #2
Success Tip of the Week: Stress Reducer #2
“Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.” ~Rosalynn Carter
Perfection
One of the biggest causes of stress is an obsession for perfection. Of course we all want to do and be our best but obsessing about perfection, (an impossible objective) is a sure fire way to create stress in our lives. It stunts our creativity and damages our self esteem which makes it impossible for us to focus on our best self and what we can become!
Get Real With Yourself:
This week take a moment to get real with yourself about your expectations not only with yourself but other people in your life, events and experiences as well. As we discussed in the 6-part Conquering Change Audio Series, focusing on your “best self” will help you move from the past into the future and has the ability to change your life.
Remember there are changes you can control and changes that you can’t. Actively think about recognizing and letting go of those things that are out of your control. You will have a lot less stress and you will be far more happy, productive and successful.
Have a Fabulous Week!
The Difference
Hi everyone,
I felt I just had to share this…
Something very interesting happened to me last week and I thought would be perfect for a Food For Thought Video.
…I call it The Difference!
So now I ask you the question that I asked myself after this encounter…
What is the difference between these two gentlemen? How is it that one is so unconcerned and unaffected by his age while the other who is actualy 7 years his junior is so resigned to his age and convinced of its limitations?
What are your thoughts? Please share…I would love to hear from you.
To your dreams and possibilities,
Deborah
A NEW TOOL FOR YOU!
…Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll
It’s finished! It’s Done! And you helped create it!
Recently I held a workshop that many of you attended. I asked for your input and if you would share with me the key things you would find most helpful and what would be the easiest way for you to receive and absorb it. (After all, it’s only helpful if you actually get through it, right?) Soooo…
Thank you to all who responded.
This new system is now available for you and I believe this is something that will truly enhance your life, support your progress and magnify your success!
To hear more about it please click the link below and it will take you to a short presentation…
The 3 Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships
P.S. I have a NEW free gift for you! Download your F.R.E.E. Special Report; Conquering Change, Take the Scary out of Transitions and receive my complimentary bi-monthly ezine by filling out the big green box at the top of the page!
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
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