If so you won’t want to miss today’s discussion…

 Doug offers a rather tired and sensitive  Debi some advice on just how to  progress on her big decision to drastically alter her lifestyle! 

Doug finally does it… he trips right over a giant land mine and he doesn’t even know he did it!! This is a classic representation of the glaring difference in how men and women communicate and the problems it can cause…

Our first disagreement…

Click HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!

And have a listen!

Perhaps you could offer Doug a little advice on how to talk to a woman who is going through a new experience and a little tired and sensitive! We (I’d) love to hear…bless his heart.

See you there!

P.S. Also want to let you know that the Positive Attitude Workshop site’s facelift is 99.5% complete so I hope you’ll take a moment to visit!  By the way the Serious Summer Sale, even though it’s not summer, will continue  while the final touches to the site are completed and the Motivational Store   has some of the coming inspirational goodies available! I hope you will take advantage of  the ridiculously low prices on the 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships E-course and new CD! CLICK HERE NOW!

If so you won’t want to miss today’s discussion…

Doug shares some insight into How to Get Him to Buy Me Flowers, without having to nag or remind him…or at least he tries to explain the male side!!!

Click HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!

And have a listen!

Then be sure to come back and post your comments about Doug’s opinion and any questions you might have for him. See you there!

P.S. Also want to let you know that the Positive Attitude Workshop site is getting a ‘facelift.’ So consequently I have decided to extend the Serious Summer Sale, even though it’s not summer! I hope you will take advantage of  the ridiculously low prices on the 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships E-course and new CD! CLICK HERE NOW!

P.S.S. We are STILL trying to correct a couple of ‘bugs’ on the site… occasionally the ‘comment here’ link does not “light up” ;( – Not to worry , just click on the number of comments below or the “edit’ button and it will take you to the comment section! 

Join us for a second cup of

Coffee With Debi and Doug

If you happened to miss last week’s coffee break, Coffee with Debi and Doug is about the often difficult and at times amusing ongoing quest for man and woman to understand each and the amazingly different ways women and men look at things and express themselves! No small task but Doug is the gentleman who has agreed to share his opinion of the unabridged version of what goes on in the minds of men, in a frank honest often humorous, eye opening way. So far he has more than delivered and he does it again this week when we discuss that Silent Thing men occasionally do that DRIVES us CRAZY!

Click HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!

And have a listen!

Then be sure to come back and post your comments about Doug’s opinion and any questions you might have for him. See you there!

P.S. By the way, don’t forget this is the last day to take advantage of the Serious Summer Sale and your last opportunity to take advantage of ridiculously low prices on the 3-Step System to Revitalize Your Life, Goals and Relationships E-course and  new CD! CLICK HERE NOW!

P.S.S. We are in the process of trying to correct a couple of ‘bugs’ on the site… occasionally the ‘comment here’ link does not “light up” ;( – Not to worry , just click on the number of comments below and it will take you to the comment section! 

What Does Prince Charming Look Like?

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will
never stand her up and never let her down.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure
and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never
thought she could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. He will enable her to
express her deepest emotions and give in to
her most intimate desires. He will make sure
she always feels as though she’s the most
beautiful woman in the room and will enable
her to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible.  
 
No wait… sorry… I’m thinking of wine.

It’s wine that does all that…….
Never mind. 

 Isn’t this just the perfect description of Prince Charming? The only thing missing is the white horse and the castle we get whisked away to, right?

Of course I think by now we all really know that this is not likely to happen, if it has for you then please go to your room now, but for most of us if someone like this DID happen to come around… well we all believe at the bare minimum this man would have our undying devotion and we would most certainly live happily ever after in total bliss. But getting back to reality, this often difficult and at times amusing ongoing quest for man and woman to understand each other has been a topic for contemplation since probably time began!  How many experts, books, studies, remedies, counselors, psychiatrist and guru’s have tried to pin down the answer to this one? Oh, and don’t forget the number of successful and hilarious sitcoms on the subject. The truth is we are all so different with unique backgrounds, needs and wants but there is always one thing everyone seems to agree on; it’s about communication and the amazingly different ways women and men look at things and express themselves.  

Introducing:

HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50

• What it IS:
•  The unabridged version of what goes on in the minds of men, (from a real live normal man) that delivers frank honest often humorous, eye opening, oh my god you’ve got to be kidding he thinks that, possibly change my ways or die alone kick in the ….talk… and then there’s OUR side!

In other words fun enlightened entertainment!

In my last ezine I asked for questions you might find interesting and I want to thank all of you who took the time to participate. VERY FUN… so now

Here it is…your first peek into the mind of the other side.  Click HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50!

See you there!

HOW TO TALK TO A MAN OVER 50… I thought you might enjoy this:

Yes, this is a hint about what we might be talking about on our first Coffee Date! Oh my, we’ve come a long way baby.

Don’t forget to join me here on Thursday, September 23, 2010!

(If you receive this post via email and cannot view the video, Click Here)

REGARDLESS OF OUR AGE

Women love to talk – Men do or don’t do which creates:

 For men: 5 – 10 minutes of thought

 For women: weeks of conversation

My Mission –  to cajole one man to divulge the uncensored answers to any and all of our questions about

What Goes On In The Minds of Men

 And finally resolve our curiosity and angst.

Meet the Mystery Man and let the party begin.

When: September 23, 2010

Where: Wherever your computer is!

What to bring: Your Questions and sense of humor!

Submit your questions in the comments  section below or email them to me at deborah@womenintranstiononline.com

See you there!

I immediately called my daughter back to convey the surprising news that was so bluntly delivered. I am definitely in need of some assurance that I’m not crazy and thinking some input with a more modern perspective on the episode would help.  I get that in his eyes, if the story is even true, he was the injured one but I must say I was a little surprised at the apparent lack of a sincere apology or any concern for my feelings.   I’m truly bewildered. I know it’s been a long time since I have indulged in this dating thing but I’m leaning toward, as my two and a half year old granddaughter would say, that’s not nice.

Of course my daughter comes through like a champ. Although there is no talk of “off with his head” she is as surprised as I and delivers the loving concern needed. I assure her that although I am disappointed I am not 18 and on a scale of 1-10 of upsetting events experienced and survived in my life this is about a 2. Well, ok maybe a 3. I decline her offer to fix me dinner, assure her I am perfectly OK and will settle in with one of the two new books I received earlier than expected on this day as well. Synchronicity at work?

Now… for the lesson part:

Since I am the author and actively participating in my own Attitude Adjustment Course I headed for the couch to let all this sink in and sort through my feelings. It seemed quite interesting to me that I would be testing Habit #3 of my e-course in a big way. For those of you who have yet to sign up for the course, Habit # 3 is:

Finding Positive Aspects in Unexpected Occurrences.

Now I did promise not to be sarcastic but I have to tell you I found the following sentences from the program just a little bit funny, given the nature of the unexpected occurrence: 

We all experience interruptions to our plans many times throughout the day. Allowing these disturbances to stay in our heads has a dramatic effect on our attitude and can definitely create a negative spiral to our mood.

However, I did write the program and do believe in its effectiveness so I forged ahead to one of the included exercises that I thought would be appropriate for this incident:

Exercise 1: Whenever something unplanned or upsetting occurs during your day immediately think of 3 positive aspects about the situation and say them out loud to yourself. Then delete the negative occurrence from your thoughts and focus on your 3 positive aspects.

You know, as simple as this exercise sounds it did prove to be very effective for me and once I got started I found a number of what I thought were positive aspects which, more importantly, led to some powerful insights about me.

First, he was right on the money with his observation that now my house was clean and I had done a much more thorough job than I ordinarily do. A clean house feels good and if you are going to have an unpleasant experience it is easier to take in a clean house!

This incident had managed to motivate me to remove the lingering clutter from my kitchen countertop and in the process of furniture arrangement I had come up with a much more pleasant ambiance for myself. Without the expected arrival of this special guest I would not have taken the time for furniture experimentation. I now realize I should consider doing these things for me and how my environment affects how I feel about myself.

As I pondered these three positive statements I began to think about how I had felt during the day prior to the unfortunate turn of events. It occurred to me that I had actually taken, what for me, was a risk and while taking the risk I had allowed myself to thoroughly enjoy the experience. I had unwittingly discovered how enjoyable and invigorating it was to completely mentally unplug from work and that I could do this and the world would continued to turn! And somehow I had managed to revive the feeling that male companionship, even though this was the wrong male, can be a stimulating healthy part of a balanced life. You know in the coach world these are really big shifts.

I won’t bore you with the other positive musings this led me to but I think it would suffice to say  once I started thinking positively about this experience those thoughts began to expand. Today I am feeling really excited and good about what I took away from this experience.

Negative thoughts and attitudes are more destructive than we think. They affect our self esteem, confidence and what we accomplish. It would have been easy for me to feel like a victim and sorry for myself. Had I indulged in this kind of behavior I would not have discovered the hidden gifts in this incident that now provide me with the opportunity for further growth and happiness.

The uncomplicated truth is we have a choice of how we look at life and that choice is the simple deciding factor that makes one person positive and happy and the other negative and pessimistic.

They say it takes 21 days to create a HABIT. Sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course and at the end of 3 weeks you could be in THE HABIT OF THINKING POSITIVELY!

Something wonderful occurs when one thinks positively

You begin to see POSSIBILITIES EVERYWHERE!

If you follow my blog or know me personally, it is no secret that I am a recovering workaholic. Now that I do not have the traditional 9 am to 8:00 pm schedule I used to put myself through I am recovering but still experience difficulties in letting work go and allowing unbridled pleasure in my life without the background noise of work in my head. One of my remaining symptoms is the lack of male companionship in my life. It has been a long time since I have “dated” (let’s just say years). It has been so long I don’t recall how this “habit” started. It wasn’t any particular event but the general excuse was… I don’t have time followed with the classic when I get” fill in the blank” accomplished I‘ll make the time and effort to find that certain perfect someone.

CAN WE TALK?

With that said let’s fast forward. There is a restaurant that I and my family frequent and one  I occasionally visit alone. There is a certain person I have chatted with  a few times and I admit, the thought he might be someone nice to date had entered my mind but circumstances were never quite right to make this happen. Recently, and just days before the moon was big round and full of all things, the occasion seemed to magically evolve in the most comfortable and natural of ways. After bumping into him, sharing cocktails, dinner and a long conversation the traditional exchange of contact information occurred and a nightly conversation commenced. One thing led to another and our “first date” was planned for Wednesday.

I am sure he had no idea what a divergence from my character this was and is completely unaware of what this triggered.  On the morning of the “big date” another monumental shift in my attitude occurred. I lingered in bed and decided that I deserved a break and was going to thoroughly enjoy this experience. I gave myself permission to completely mentally unplug from work and the computer for the entire day. I decided to mow the front lawn, clean my house which led to some overdo clutter removal and even some experimentation with furniture arrangement. Once satisfied and even inspired I moved on to what I could remember about date prep. Let’s see, there was hair color touch up, a pedicure, and attire experimentation and decision. Then much more time than usual on makeup and a trip to the store to pick up the beer I noticed he drank and something appropriate for a light snack in the event we didn’t rush right out to dinner.  Oddly the day was extremely pleasant even energizing and when all was complete I had an hour and a half to relax and leisurely dress for his arrival! I am really feeling good  now and the best part was I honestly had not even thought about checking email or work. This is big!

OK ladies, it is perfectly fine to start chuckling here.

At this point I’m thinking this is pretty nice and maybe I have been a little hard on myself and perhaps male companionship is stimulating and a healthy thing. Balance, cloud walking… yup there might be something to this after all; this is definitely good stuff. I am beginning to feel like the guy in the old movie “Caddy Shack” who plays the golf game of his life in thunder, lightening and rain.

Its 5:38 and I’m sitting outside indulging in a glass of wine reporting my success to my daughter on the home phone when I hear my cell phone ringing. I jump up to catch it thinking he might have an update on his ETA and here’s what he said:

“Hi, you know I have just had a dreadful day. I have been wrestling with some legal document issue, searching for papers all day and I have a headache and just feel awful. I am in a terrible mood and I know I wouldn’t be any fun tonight. To make matters worse I have a big and early meeting in the morning so I hope you understand but I think I better just stay in tonight. It would probably be better if we did this on a Friday or Saturday night…………………………………………..”

Ok, now you can start full blown laughter!

I think, in a word, I felt stunned. I suddenly had this mental picture of myself dreamily and pleasantly sleep walking toward the edge of a cliff and someone, blessedly I guess, throws a bucket of ice water in my face and abruptly I wake up.  I honestly had to take a moment to process this before I could speak.

More laughter allowed here.

Did I mention during those build up to the “first date” phone conversations there was a lot talk about how excited he was to see me again and how this would be our “first date” and how much he was looking forward to it and on and on and on? Geez, I may as well have been hypnotized.

After whining this sad story out almost as an afterthought he asks, how was your day? I didn’t quite know what to say but I think I mumbled something about how I had taken the day off to catch up on some overdo maintenance items here at the house. The next part of this is a bit of a blur but I think he commented on how good that was because now I had it all done and I, not we, could relax on the weekend and I honestly don’t remember what the parting salutation was. At this point, not all that important, right?

Now… for the end of the story and the important lesson I learned about the value of a positive attitude and balance please tune back in tomorrow for Part II. Honestly, I’m not going to be sarcastic and there really is a positive lesson here; just read the rest of the story tomorrow and you’ll see.

In the mean time, I would LOVE to hear your comments on this event. If you receive this via email just click this link:

http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/blog/

Even though you shouldn’t wait for an occasion it just so happens this is the time of year when holiday celebrations happen every month.  So you have no excuse not to spend some quality time basking in the glow of acceptance with your friends.

Here are two great party ideas that need no occasion to bond with your friends and have some fun!

The Diva Party

Attire:

We all have at least one of these ensembles in our closet don’t we? You know the ones. We don’t remember why we bought it but we must have felt really good about ourselves that day. We thought wow I look good. When we took it home it became the where am I going to wear this outfit that we never found the nerve or occasion to wear! Well that’s the makings of the perfect diva party.

Make sure everyone knows and is willing to wear that certain fabulous thing they never or seldom wear. If by some chance they don’t own anything like this, they should. Tell them to think thrift store! Encourage them to be inventive. Maybe it’s those incredible pink high heel  boots they just had to have that have been sitting in the closet  collecting dust but the thought of tossing them into the giveaway box is unbearable.(Ask me how I know about these.) Maybe it’s the hat they love but never wear because no one wears hats these days. These are the makings of the perfect Diva Outfit.

Now that you have the attire down the rest is easy.

• Purchase some photo frames. I suggest a two sided frame but two separate frames per guest are fine too.
• Purchase  small photo albums for each guest attending.   
• Give out disposable cameras for everyone to take candid shots of the party.
• It’s a good idea to purchase a couple extras of these, you never know who just might bring along another friend)
• Add some food and drinks and let the party begin!

Take a “before” picture on arrival and an “after” picture on the departure of each guest. There will be a difference in demeanor I promise you!

After the party print and place the before and after photo of each guest in the two sided frame and make a  small companion photo album of the best candid shots to give to everyone who attended the party. Memories of good times are always appreciated!  

The Attitude Adjustment Party

• Purchase and decorate  good sized lidded jars with each guest’s name on it. You can make them simple or get creative; use glitter, ribbons and glue buttons or rhinestones on them.
• Prepare a festive table with some flowers and a tablecloth to place the jars up on.
• Get some colorful card stock squares and fun pens to write with and place these supplies in festive little bags to give to each guest. You might want to ask each person write their name on the bag so they won’t lose it during the party!

Ask each guest to write an anonymous compliment or thought about why they think their friend is fabulous for each person at the party and place it in their jar at some point during the party.   At the end of the party each person takes their feel good jar home to read the compliments at their leisure. A perfect party favor that will surely be kept and inspire everyone. As they say, the gift that just keeps on giving.

These parties can be elaborate or a simple pot luck. These are our friends. The important thing is to honor the friendship and enjoy each other. 

Bonding with your friends is so important for your attitude, your survival and even your health! There are plenty of people who will say you can’t, you won’t, you aren’t, and you shouldn’t; you run into these people every day. It is from your friends you will hear you can, you are, you should and you will. So with the season of holiday’s arrival it’s the perfect time to have some fun. Take the time – it’s important and you’ll be glad you did.

• It would be sooo nice if you would share some photos of your fun event and any ideas for fun friend gatherings as well. I’d love to post them here!
• If you receive this post via email and have trouble viewing it or would like to comment or contribute please click this link and visit the site. http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/blog/ When you get here grab those friends and sign up for the free Attitude Adjustment E-course; it’s fun, it’s easy and it works! 

Who of us does not have immediate family members or precious friends who have been touched by this dreadful disease? According to the World Health Organization fact sheet cancer is the leading cause of death worldwide with breast, lung, stomach colorectal and cervical listed as the most frequent types affecting women.

There is good news. This same report asserts that 30% of these deaths to cancer could be prevented by avoiding key risk factors and early detection.

As we age the risk for cancer increases; it is only wise to avail ourselves of the best and latest known methods for prevention and early detection. For starters, please click on this link and read this concise informative fact sheet with information on prevention, early detection and treatment.

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs297/en/index.html

 Here are the top five risk factors to avoid or modify :

• Smoking and tobacco use
• Weight control
• Modify our diets with higher intake of fruits and vegetables
• Of course, exercise!
• Watching our alcohol use.

An equally important factor for reducing the risk of cancer is  early detection and knowing the symptoms!

We women are so busy caring for others we often forget the importance of taking care of ourselves.

So….

Remind the ones you love!

Click the share button below and email this reminder to all the women you care about to:

                                                Get Educated and Get Checked!

• Throughout the month of October I will be recommending useful books on the subjects of health and the value of friendship in our lives. If you have a favorite book on either of these subjects please share it with us in the comments below or email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com.
• If you are having trouble reading this email, you can view it online here: http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/blog/

To your Health and Happiness!