Well, here it is! A brand new year…”2012” has finally arrived and with it the opportunity to ‘start anew.’ Even though anytime is the right time for a new beginning there is something symbolic and special about the beginning of a new year. To me it feels like receiving a brand new journal filled with empty pages and a set of colored pens!

Yesterday I stopped into a restaurant to spend a little time alone pondering the forthcoming year. With my new journal and pens in hand I found myself busily scratching out notes and ideas for the year when it occurred to me there was an interesting slogan on the drink cup I was mindlessly staring at…

It said:

“HALF FULL…HALF EMPTY…

EITHER WAY, IT’S TIME FOR A REFILL.

JUST THE WAY IT IS”

As I began to think about this slogan I took a little time to review my notes and discovered something interesting. Nowhere in my notes was there any mention of Self Nurturing and Taking Time to Replenish.

It’s such a common thing we all do, isn’t it? And it’s such an essential step in creating a life full of meaning, joy, and abundance. Yet we seldom remember to include it in our plans or consider it a goal that needs to be written down on our ‘goals list.’  So many times it winds up be considered later or separately…you know, when all else is accomplished or at least well on its way.

This surprised me most because it is one of the bigger subjects we discuss in both of the Mastermind Mentoring Groups I host and several of the strategies we work on are about this very subject! It is so ingrained in us. Many of us have spent the bulk of our lives neglecting ourselves focused on taking care of everyone and everything else even the thought of self-nurturance results in feelings of guilt.

So for those of you who are in the midst of planning your New Year…I hope you will make it a point to include discovering and satisfying your own needs and desires on your list. Not only will your life be fuller and more joyous, your friends and loved ones will reap the benefit. Make yourself a priority! You will have so much more to give others!

So here’s to you…your hopes, dreams and possibilities.

There are Great things to come!

It’s going to be an amazing 2012!!

Deborah

P.S. Anyone interested in exploring your possibilities in a Mastermind Mentoring Group…THE 40% OFF SALE HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO JANUARY 10, 2012! If you’re interested in a little preview join us on January 6^th, 2012 for “How to Get a New Perspective on the Rest of Your Life” Teleseminar/Discussion. These discussions are always intimate, open and inspiring! Join us!   

As a believer in the cup that is half full I don’t often rant but while researching for a new Holiday Project, which  I will share with you in a moment I bumped into a couple of articles that discuss a subject  that is often treated as the dirty little secret that really isn’t a secret at all.

When Age And Gender Work Against Your Job Search 

I discovered this link to the Forbes article by Ellen Weinreb while reading a review of it on Goldivas.com, an internet magazine for women for women over 50. If you care to read it click the link above.      

Both the review and the article itself were eloquently written and did a fine job of illuminating the increasing difficulties women over 50 are facing when attempting to find employment.  Ms. Weinreb, a professional recruiter who interacts with job seekers every day says “For older women, gender isn’t the only roadblock in the job market today.”

Both articles discuss the cultural bias and mistaken perception that women lose their value as they age. Consider the quote from Carrie Chapman Catt during a speech at the Senate hearing on woman’s suffrage, February 13, 1900:

No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.

However I was encouraged that someone, anyone had taken the time to bring this to the forefront! Bravo to you Ms. Weinreb who further states “I thought I might be onto a trend that has yet to be seriously discussed. I decided to do my own research to validate my observation, and believe that this is a serious issue facing older women.”

I couldn’t agree more. Recently I have been attending a number of women’s groups and I can assure her this is absolutely a trend. On my last excursion I was sitting with six women and four of them were unemployed. Three had been let go in cut backs and one was let go due to the company’s closure.

 All four have been actively seeking employment for one to two years. One of them has resorted to doing temp work, two others are trying to start new businesses while continuing to seek employment and one is surviving on dwindling savings.

Yes, in my circle this conversation is all too familiar. The real surprise for me is where is the outrage? When the subject is discussed it is always in a matter of fact way and with a tone of resignation. A sentiment echoed by the women interviewed for the Forbes article.   Now I applaud women for not whining but where is the outrage? Where is the energy for a solution?

The Solution?

While I agree with both articles that cultural bias will not change overnight I truly believe there is a lot more we women can do in addition to Ms. Weinreb’s suggestion that we should “persevere and be careful not to talk or act in ways that reinforce the cultural bias.”

The truth is our numbers are great.

 Imagine the impact we could make if all women of a certain age made a concentrated effort to support each other’s endeavors and businesses whenever possible.

There are many competent qualified professional women of a certain age who have a great deal to offer if  only we could easily access them.

THE HOLIDAY GIFT:

It’s the Holidays and that time of year when shopping is on the agenda. Sooo I thought this might be a good time for me to do my part to: 

Support Sage Women’s Enterprises

FREE ADVERTISING FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

Promote your business on my site for free!

I am setting up a Holiday Reference page on my site where women of a certain age who offer a product or service can contribute a small Ad with a link to your site for the holidays. Below is a peek at the page and a sample add

Sample Ad

 If you are a midlife or boomer woman with a business or service to offer I invite you to take advantage of this opportunity and promote your enterprise for the holidays!

If you know other women of a certain age who could benefit from this be sure to pass this along to them!  

To participate in the Women Supporting Women Campaign fill in the registration form below and the easy instructions on how to participate will be delivered to you. (You will also receive a free subscription to my e-zine if you don’t already receive it)

So what are you waiting for…Join Us, support your fellow women of a certain age and let the Holidays Begin!

To your hopes, dreams and possibilities,

Deborah

P.S. Don’t forget to SHARE this article with your fellow women of a certain age! As always, if you have any questions or comments don’t hesitate to contact me deborah@womenintransitiononline.com. I’d love to hear from you.

We all go through transformations in our life; some planned, some not, some big, some minor but whatever change you are experiencing the end result is your life is altered…you are altered!  We call it living and on the other side of these transformations we wind up knowing more about ourselves.

In my last e-zine article I wrote about overcoming the inertia that fear of change and the unknown can bring. Today I find myself trying to catch up with an old friend I haven’t seen in a while.(that’s you)   The process has been hectic but once I started I found I really didn’t have a lot of time to sit around and think about all that I was doing. Just so you know that’s a good thing! If you try and think about the whole goal it really will overwhelm you so instead I used my own program, Get Your Year In Gear and lists have become my close companion. Now that a number of tasks have been completed and certain mini goals towards the major goal have been achieved I thought it might be fun to share some of the revelations I have discovered along the way.

YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE

Now this sounds obvious but I think most of us still somehow secretly believe that we can; I certainly did. A major transformation is like taking on another full time job with a huge number of ‘sub-categories’ and tasks that are added to what you normally accomplish. If you try to accomplish everything at one time you wind up exhausted, ineffective and feeling inadequate for not being able to perform the impossible. Some things are going to have to be put on the back burner so you can focus your attention and energy on what is most important to do first in order to achieve your goal.

DITCH THE GUILT

Come to terms with the fact that all the other things will be there and by addressing what is humanly possible first you will absolutely get results and  find yourself feeling empowered, effective and confident.

LISTS, LISTS AND LISTS

Understand that your list will be ever changing and the first task you planned for the day will likely evolve into a whole new list of unexpected and unplanned for tasks. This will absolutely knock the other two tasks you planned for the day over to ‘tomorrow’ and you need to develop the attitude that this is progress not defeat. Expect the unexpected. We all know this. Whether it’s planning a party or purging your life down to a one bedroom residence there will be times when the unexpected will happen. When you are in the middle of a large process these paper monsters seem bigger… more looming. Learn to let go and discover your journal or whatever works for you and deposit these negative thoughts and feelings somewhere other than your brain. If you don’t they will become like little trolls marching around in your day causing unnecessary stress and deterring your progress. Focus on what you can humanly accomplish today and ditch the guilt.

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Here is a handy list of things I have found useful in my process. My tool bag if you will:

• Golf cap…a couple of them actually. This will become a part of your daily costume
• Eyeliner and mascara are the only cosmetics you will need for a while.
• Sunglasses; big ones for when you are out on your ‘errands.’
• Really good hand lotion.
• As for your feet? Thank the heavens  it’s winter and time for socks and closed toed shoes.
• A gift certificate for a good Mani/Pedi…someday. You might want to put this on the coffee pot. By the way, don’t use this too soon as it will only make you sad if you ruin it the very next day!
• Another golf cap.
• My particular transformation has involved a great deal of manual labor that I am unaccustomed to doing. I discovered ibuprofen works well for minor aches and pains and can be purchased at the dollar store. Of course, consult your physician before taking any medications!
• At least once a week take the time to blow your hair out and curl it even if you are going to cover it with a golf cap. It’s important to remember that you really do have hair that it is surviving all this.
• A good friend who will let you have your pity party and then kick you in the bootie and get you going again. Gently of course; telling you how wonderful you are and how proud they are of you for what you are doing and all that you have accomplished so far. This is essential!

The good news is as you begin to accomplish many of your tasks and goals you will be able to see your progress and your journey will become easier. For me…my house is repaired, painted, fresh, uncluttered, organized and LISTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Oh, I almost forgot…plan a reward once a week. Whether it’s a nice candle lit bath or a real meal with parsley on the plate you need to remember to be kind to yourself, stay positive and it will happen. You can do anything if you really want it!

Saturday was my adorable granddaughter’s first ballet recital. Yup, a star is born. As I watched her confidently dancing in her beautiful blue costume my heart swelled with pride and joy. It seems like only yesterday it was my Lexi up there performing. Where did the time go?

Flowers? For me?

After the show as we filed out of the auditorium to wait with flowers for our little celebrity I ran into a couple of Alexis’s friends from high school, now with little stars of their own.  It seems like only yesterday these very women were only girls whispering and giggling on the phone together. Where did the time go?

If I close my eyes, become very still and think back I can almost remember the feeling of being on the stage myself; the smell of backstage, the camaraderie of my fellow performers and the bonding ceremony of putting on our stage makeup. Where did the time go?

As my mother and I crowed about how fabulous our Kenzi did the conversation drifted to a time in my mother’s past when she danced for her father with her dance class at the veteran’s hospital, just before her father died. She still remembers her mother sewing special velvet dots on her costume wings when the other girls only had ink spots on their wings. Where did the time go?

As I write this post I wonder if Alexis knows how special these times are and is she really taking the time to really savor the moment.  Not just the photo image but all the details of the glorious and juicy emotions of these mile markers.  There will come a time when she will say where did the time go?

Mile markers, are you counting them? Are you really taking them in? Are you making moments?

But more importantly…is there something more you want to do? Is there something you’ve been waiting to do “when the time is right?” Don’t wait, time flies, do it now. Five or ten years from now you will be looking at photographs and saying, where did the time go?

Time is our most precious commodity. Find your passion. Unearth those buried desires and dreams and start now. If you wait for the perfect time it will never come.

“Don’t do nothing because you can’t do everything.  Do something.  Anything.”

 Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

Role Models

I just had to share! I just downloaded this shot of Poppy, (the little one) and Shealy Ann, (the bigger one) after being “sprung” from the laundry room.

 
Even though they were not present for the session they both are glowing examples of how to pivot out of a negative spiral after an unplanned or unpleasant occurrence. Now I’m not sure if they were able to find anything positive about the temporary confinement but they both appeared to be catching up on some sleep when I opened the door. However I am positive they were able to completely  leave the incident in the past. After a quick treat both were happy and ready to play!

Also wanted to thank all of you who are attending the workshop and for all the wonderful emails! If you missed this workshop not to worry  new workshops are coming soon!

Until then, enjoy these insightful thoughts that were emailed to me some time ago that were so profound I kept them for sharing at an appropriate moment. If you’ve read them before they are worth a second read:

What dogs can teach us

If dogs were teachers, you would learn stuff like….

· When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

· Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

· Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

· When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

· Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

· Take naps.

· Stretch before rising.

· Run, romp, and play daily.

· Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

· Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

· On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

· On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

· When you’re happy, dance around & wag your entire body.

· No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…run right back and make friends.

· Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

· Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

· Stop when you have had enough.

· Be loyal.

· Never pretend to be something you’re not.

· If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

· When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Author unknown, but whoever you are…. thank you!

What did I discover? Here are a few answers to my own questions:

1. What did you do in lieu of watching TV?
   • I mowed the front lawn at 5:30 in the evening. This is definitely unusual!
   • I finished a couple of half read books.
   • I spent a couple of wonderful evenings with my granddaughter, mom and daughter.
   • I took the time to revisit my goals/vision journal and found myself adding to it!
   • I actually cooked myself a meal, lit a candle and enjoyed a leisurely glass of wine.
   • I used some of my evening time to meditate and breath.
   • I listened to some of my favorite inspirational tapes.
   • I took the time to dust off and ride my bike with my friend!
2. How did you feel?
   • Very anxious at first.
3. What did you like about it?
   • Eventually the incredible awareness of myself and surroundings.
   •  I did not feel mentally or physically tired or exhausted at night.
4. What did you dislike about it?
   • I found it very hard to turn off my thoughts to sleep!
5. What surprised you about this experience?
   • I was very surprised at the amount of “found time” I discovered.
   • I was also shocked at the amount of TV I had been watching and how unaware of it I was.
6. Do you think it made a difference in your mood or attitude?
   • I felt better and had more energy.
   • It was not so much that I was happier and more positive, which I was, but more importantly that I was much more in touch with what I was feeling whether it was good or bad.
7. And of course… did you cheat?
   • Just twice!!!!!

So how did you do? You know you don’t need a challenge to try this experiment. You can start enjoying the sound of your thoughts whenever and as often as you like.

Now for the rest of the story… visit this week’s e-zine. Here is the link to the page http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/current-issue

If you are not currently receiving the bi-monthly e-zine and would like to:

Here is the email link http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/join.asp?merchantid=160571

Take the Challenge!

Are you going to join me?  Pledge to not watch TV for 7 DAYS, or whatever you think you can manage! I am posting this today thinking most of you probably won’t read this until tomorrow sometime. I have received a couple of emails with some pertinent questions and suggestions surrounding this event and I will share them with you below:

Suggestion: A couple of you felt a better start date, with the weekend approaching, would be Monday.

I agree, and really, you should start your pledge on whatever day you think will work best for you! For me the weekend is the time when I typically am out and about a lot I and watch the least amount of TV. If you think it would be easiest to give up TV during the week this, is what you should do!

Question: A couple more of you felt a week might be a little aggressive and wondered if committing to less time to start would be advisable.

Again, Good Point! I have done this before on a couple of occasions so I guess I am less apprehensive. You should all do whatever feels right for you. I can tell you it does help to have a partner or friend to share the experience with. The one thing I noticed on the two occasions I have done this is the amazing amount of found time I had and the quandary of what to do with it all.

Whatever you do, I hope you will share your experience, as I will, in the comment section at the end of this post. Every time I do this I swear I am not going to watch TV EVER Again!! But like all bad habits; it’s so easy to fall back into them so refresher courses are great! I have found that I fall back into the bad habit when I feel the need to watch something positive, like the Olympics, or something I feel is very important, like the President, Republicans and Democrats purposing to discuss health care… that’s not really what I saw but it was an interesting experiment in human behavior, or misbehavior!!!! But I try not to discuss politics or religion. My motto, to each his own!

Anyway, when I do indulge in something I think is positive, I find, via commercials, I get plenty of negative messages in the process!!! But like kicking any bad habit; if you fall off simply start again. Eventually you will find less of a need for a refresher course and you will be ready to sell your TV!!!!!!

If you want to publicly commit, sign up in the comment section at the end of this post or feel free to email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. If you missed the previous post about this event and need further instruction, scroll down to the I Dare You…dont listen post.

Anyway, in one of those emails was a GREAT IDEA for a fun experiment… hence the dare:

Take the Challenge

NO TV?

Starting Thursday, March 4, 2010 I dare you/me to turn off the television for 7 Days! That’s right no TV. Keep a little personal journal and send in your observations about this experience.

• What did you do in lieu of watching TV?
• How did you feel?
• What did you like about it?
• What did you dislike about it?
• What surprised you about this experience?
• Do you think it made a difference in your mood or attitude?
• And of course… did you cheat?

 If you are game sign up in the comment section. On March 4th I will write a post announcing that start of the dare. We can share our thoughts  by returning to this post and commenting throughout the week, or whenever you feel like it.

Can you give up television for Seven Short Days out of your life?

 Come on, have some fun with this and take the dare! Pledge your commitment today!!

It sounds so simplistic and yet the results that can be garnered from following this advice are nothing short of staggering. Like all habits, developing the “habit of not watching TV” can be harder to do than one might think. I find myself easing back into catching a piece of news here and there and suddenly realizing I’m kidding myself and tuning into the news each night. Once I recognize this I can actually see the difference in my attitude, creativity and energy level and trace it back to the day I began to plug myself into this incredible powerful negative feed.

Too Much Television

Of course it’s understandable. Marketers, ad agencies and big business have spent billions discovering ways to addict us and it starts at earlier and earlier ages. (cartoons/toys) As it succeeds it is delivered in larger and larger doses. (More on this in my next ezine article) Let’s just agree that tuning out negativity, whether it is from television or unsupportive people is hard to do but the results are well worth the effort.

So…if I don’t watch TV or News wouldn’t it have been possible to miss the inspiring piece below?

Surround yourself with positive thoughts and people and positive information will find you!

Such was the case when I watched this inspiring video recently featured on ABC News that was linked in an email I received! This arrived on a day I really needed to be reminded that:

It’s the journey. Follow your passion and success will be the likely destination.

Click here, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/HealthyLiving/odds-dancing-cerebral-palsy/story?id=9596192 and take five short minutes to be inspired. You’ll love this I promise!

P.S.  I’d love to know if it reminded you of something you needed to hear, and of course, what that might be. It’s easy, just click on the “leave comment link at the end of this post or feel free to email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com!

Even though you shouldn’t wait for an occasion it just so happens this is the time of year when holiday celebrations happen every month.  So you have no excuse not to spend some quality time basking in the glow of acceptance with your friends.

Here are two great party ideas that need no occasion to bond with your friends and have some fun!

The Diva Party

Attire:

We all have at least one of these ensembles in our closet don’t we? You know the ones. We don’t remember why we bought it but we must have felt really good about ourselves that day. We thought wow I look good. When we took it home it became the where am I going to wear this outfit that we never found the nerve or occasion to wear! Well that’s the makings of the perfect diva party.

Make sure everyone knows and is willing to wear that certain fabulous thing they never or seldom wear. If by some chance they don’t own anything like this, they should. Tell them to think thrift store! Encourage them to be inventive. Maybe it’s those incredible pink high heel  boots they just had to have that have been sitting in the closet  collecting dust but the thought of tossing them into the giveaway box is unbearable.(Ask me how I know about these.) Maybe it’s the hat they love but never wear because no one wears hats these days. These are the makings of the perfect Diva Outfit.

Now that you have the attire down the rest is easy.

• Purchase some photo frames. I suggest a two sided frame but two separate frames per guest are fine too.
• Purchase  small photo albums for each guest attending.   
• Give out disposable cameras for everyone to take candid shots of the party.
• It’s a good idea to purchase a couple extras of these, you never know who just might bring along another friend)
• Add some food and drinks and let the party begin!

Take a “before” picture on arrival and an “after” picture on the departure of each guest. There will be a difference in demeanor I promise you!

After the party print and place the before and after photo of each guest in the two sided frame and make a  small companion photo album of the best candid shots to give to everyone who attended the party. Memories of good times are always appreciated!  

The Attitude Adjustment Party

• Purchase and decorate  good sized lidded jars with each guest’s name on it. You can make them simple or get creative; use glitter, ribbons and glue buttons or rhinestones on them.
• Prepare a festive table with some flowers and a tablecloth to place the jars up on.
• Get some colorful card stock squares and fun pens to write with and place these supplies in festive little bags to give to each guest. You might want to ask each person write their name on the bag so they won’t lose it during the party!

Ask each guest to write an anonymous compliment or thought about why they think their friend is fabulous for each person at the party and place it in their jar at some point during the party.   At the end of the party each person takes their feel good jar home to read the compliments at their leisure. A perfect party favor that will surely be kept and inspire everyone. As they say, the gift that just keeps on giving.

These parties can be elaborate or a simple pot luck. These are our friends. The important thing is to honor the friendship and enjoy each other. 

Bonding with your friends is so important for your attitude, your survival and even your health! There are plenty of people who will say you can’t, you won’t, you aren’t, and you shouldn’t; you run into these people every day. It is from your friends you will hear you can, you are, you should and you will. So with the season of holiday’s arrival it’s the perfect time to have some fun. Take the time – it’s important and you’ll be glad you did.

• It would be sooo nice if you would share some photos of your fun event and any ideas for fun friend gatherings as well. I’d love to post them here!
• If you receive this post via email and have trouble viewing it or would like to comment or contribute please click this link and visit the site. http://www.womenintransitiononline.com/blog/ When you get here grab those friends and sign up for the free Attitude Adjustment E-course; it’s fun, it’s easy and it works!