Holiday Wishes for you!
I know you are getting a huge amount of email but I wanted to wish you all a very special holiday. I hope you are enjoying this season as much as I am and have found the time to make some special memories. I was at a holiday gathering recently and had a wonderful conversation with someone who was of the Jewish faith. He said he loved Christmas even though he celebrated differently. As we talked we both agreed that there is something magical about this time of year no matter what your faith. It is a time when the majority of people are surrounded and in contact with friends, family and the happiest of thoughts seem to come to mind so easily; generosity, gratitude and kindness. Call it Law of Attraction if you like but these uplifting feelings really are contagious! With that said, I don’t think I could express my feelings any better than D.M.Dellinger:
“This is my wish for you: peace of mind, prosperity through the year, happiness that multiplies, health for you and yours, fun around every corner, energy to chase your dreams, joy to fill your holidays!”
Happy Holidays!
I would also like to thank you for being a part of this community and allowing me to share some of your time! As the end of 2011 grows near many of us will find our thoughts wandering to 2012 and to our hopes, dreams and expectations for the coming year. If you are one of these here’s a holiday gift for you…
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To your hopes, dreams and possibilities,
Deborah
P.S. Oh, and don’t forget…Gift Certificates are now available!
Holiday Stress – The Real Reason You Feel It and How to Avoid It
Cultures around the world have their own special days and ways of expressing gratitude for all that is good in their lives and recently most of us who live in the United States celebrated ours; Thanksgiving.
Now that the food has been cooked and eaten and we have taken the time to share our love and thanks with our friends and relatives the whirlwind of holiday parties and duties begins.
HOLIDAY STRESS
This is a joyous time for most of us and the anticipation intensifies as neighborhoods and malls explode with holiday lights, decorations and magic. I love the holiday season but it can also bring with it a lot of stress.
I have often thought the reason for the stressful feelings everyone seems to experience was due to additional duties, shopping and of course the constant commercials encouraging us that bigger, brighter and more is the key to holiday joy! But according to Ronald Nathan, PhD, Clinical professor at Albany Medical College in New York the real culprit might be our own memories:
“When we think about the holidays, we dwell on the past and what went wrong, or we romanticize it and make it impossible to re-create,” he says.
I think it is particularly relevant to those of us in midlife and beyond. At this stage in our lives chances are good that our holidays will be different than they used to be. Our children might be away at school or married and in other locations creating their own traditions. Perhaps we have downsized and those nostalgic memories of giant gatherings and parties we once hosted are not realistic or even as appealing in our new digs.
Yes, I believe it’s the memories that can be confusing. Different does not necessarily mean not as good but it does require us to let go of what once was; which can be easier said than done. Consider the three agreed upon stages of transition:
1) The ‘letting go’ phase – experiencing the ending of something that we knew
2) The neutral zone – the time between when you let go of something and become comfortable with the new. This is also referred to as the transitional time.
3) And beginning anew – the final stage of change. When you know you have moved on. You have left the old behind and made the necessary adjustments to move forward in a healthy way.
Each of us goes through the stages of change in our own time and for me a giant step in the letting go phase came with my recent realization that I no longer own a Christmas Tree! Yikes, that is a little bit of an awakening and yet for some strange reason I saved all of my treasured tree ornaments. It may sound trivial to you but in my world it’s an enlightening moment. You see when I moved and sold ‘everything’ I made the conscious decision to sell my tree but now that it is my first holiday without the tradition of decorating and putting up the tree…I know I don’t have a tree. What was once a big symbolic part of the season for me is gone; changed.
As I watch my daughter from my present perspective stress over the fact her tree is up but not decorated, planned gifts for her children are already out of stock, outdoor lights on white wire are sold out and will have to be ordered and it is only the first week in December, I think I can say I am ready to let go of that part of my life! I am not saying I won’t ever own or put up a Christmas tree again but I now realize I am ready to create new traditions that fit my new life; and that’s a good thing.
We all create a great deal of angst when we put our focus on the past and what we don’t have. Practicing the ‘attitude of gratitude’ and taking the time to notice and appreciate what we do have can truly transform our viewpoint.
In my case, I may not have a tree this year to place all those treasured ornaments filled with memories of the past and I’m not certain when or even if I will want to again. On the other hand, I am in a fresh new environment surrounded by those who are most important to me at a very special time of year; and yes that is a very good thing.
However you celebrate this season I hope you remember to focus on life’s gifts within any challenges you might experience and try not to stress over the perfect dinner, gift or holiday decorations! I wish you the warmest and happiest of Holidays!
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
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