Life Change – The Big Move Accomplished!
Guess what…some things just don’t change. Just when you think you have everything under control it happens; suddenly you realize there were a number of things you forgot to consider or do and you are out of time. The train has left the station. Boxes, packing paper, decisions about last minute items that result in five more packing boxes, deadlines missed, frayed tempers, a small amount of pouting, moving vans, driving with animals, (a lot of animals), exhaustion, not enough sleep, more frayed tempers, tense moments, some very funny moments and laughter and somehow you finally arrive at your destination and you realize everything you painstakingly packed now needs to be unpacked. Just not fun.
Hmmm, let’s review:
THE UNDER CONTROL PART:
Sell my home and most of my ‘stuff’ keeping just enough for a small one bedroom apartment. Sounds so simple in this sentence but yes, it is done.
Move with my daughter and grandchildren to California where I would help her settle into her new home and life while finding my own. What? Yup, that was the plan and yes, I thought I had it completely under control.
WHAT I FORGOT TO CONSIDER:
I guess I kept thinking about moving myself and forgot about the helping my daughter part. She has A LOT of stuff; a large amount of things, pets, people and different energies swirling around her every minute of every day. The good news is I am very happy about my decision to get rid of most of my ‘stuff’ but now I wish I had gotten rid of it ALL!! Just kidding; even though it has been very tiring I am so glad I am able to be here with them to help and now that some of the dust has settled I am once again realizing that although this is an exciting step it is also a little scary.
Scary or not there is nothing more precious to me than the sound of those two little feet, (my beautiful, wonderful granddaughter) that have taken to scampering down the stairs each morning, the gentle knock at my door followed by the sweet tiny little voice requesting to enter and the feeling I get when she jumps in my bed to snuggle and greet the new day. I can’t imagine missing her first day at soccer and the resulting purchase of pink shoes and shine guards. Way cool. Or my grandson’s first little smile and the look on his face as he first tasted carrots and apples baby food. Did I say taste? This boy is going to be a GOOD eater! But still…
Once again I am in a temporary scenario, which means I am in a bedroom of her house with just enough stuff (a chest of drawers and only the clothes I felt were necessary to survive) and the rest of my belongings are either in her attic or a corner of the garage. But here is the interesting part; I am watching how easily my daughter is able to find connections here in her new city. Granted she is relying on familiar resources and her husband has been working out of here for a couple of years but it is surprising how easy it is for her to find ‘her own kind’. Of course she also feels the stress of finding friends and a routine just as I do and I am not implying that a move when you’re younger is easier than when you are older…I’m just saying.
For me, the reality of all this is becoming clear. There isn’t a stroller strides for women of a certain age and even though I came out here with them I really am alone. The neighborhood choice was based on schools for the kids etc. (as it should be) however I feel like a pregnant woman at night club. Everyone here appears to be 30’s – 40’s with one to two kids. The whole area is very family oriented which is absolutely great and just perfect for her family. I couldn’t be more pleased. Really I am. I’m just saying.
I should not be surprised because our goals were completely different. She was looking to find a better place for her family so that she could continue her life as it is and I was looking for a different place to completely change my life. Now I know what you’re thinking; why don’t I just find that quaint yet trendy, small but artsy place to live and move there? Some of us are family oriented and some of us can be content to see our grandkids and daughters once or twice a year. Since I am and have been alone, meaning no mate to consider, I have the option to stay close. I am grateful for that but it still leaves me with a dilemma…
Is it possible to blend all my wants and desires and create a version of what I thought I wanted? It occurred to me that we all have diverse and sometimes contradictory wants and desires. Blending these and often times just finding out what it is we want at this special time in our lives is not as easy as it might seem. Not to worry I am armed with an excellent plan to discover just that based on advice from none other than Mr. Know it All himself. More on this later but speaking of the devil:
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DOUG?
I’m afraid I have some really bad news here. I think my virtual relationship with Doug is over! That’s right. It looks like I have been dumped, rejected, rebuffed, dismissed, forgotten, disregarded, dropped, abandoned, cast aside, tossed aside. (Oh No!) I haven’t heard from him since May 30th when he was on his way to a fraternity reunion. Now of course I know that I am partially to blame. Selling the house and the whole move thing did become consuming and although he appeared to be understanding and even supportive I did notice his calls became brief and farther apart than normal.
He had a number of trips planned for the summer however we were supposed to rendezvous for our first live meeting on or around my July birthday. All I got was a very brief phone message wishing me a happy birthday. Missing was the ‘let’s chat soon’ that was customary. The little girl in me said ‘well then, whatever’ but the grown up or at least more mature part of me says, maybe he expected me to call him? Come to think of it he was doing all the calling…
SO NOW I NEED YOUR HELP!
Should I just let it go or be the bigger person and call him to see if it he felt neglected or geez, who knows maybe he found a lost love at the reunion and doesn’t want to tell me? Even if he has we could still be friends and I have to admit I do miss his sunny disposition and hilarious advice. Besides that, we were all set to expand the Coffee with Debi and Doug to include chats about daily events, other topics of interest and some really fun stuff for those of us who are ‘of a certain age.’
You know I keep thinking about the relationship in book he wrote, Wade
I really do want your help. What do you think? Should I make the call and see what on earth he was thinking and WHY? (Men are so strange) or should I just let the little girl in me prevail and never know? Please share your thoughts below!
P.S. Did I mention that moving and unpacking is just not fun? I have some really great pictures to share but it seems I have misplaced my camera charger!!! So look for those as well as the new and very fun plan I spoke of in my next post.
To your dreams and possiblilites~
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
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