Life Change – I Survived Step One!
As many of you know I recently embarked on my own personal transformation journey and now I have accomplished what I consider to be the first major step in the process. My ‘Fresh Start’ can now begin… I’m Homeless! I FINALLY SOLD MY HOUSE!!! Actually it was in escrow twice, fell out once and after an incredibly nerve racking experience it is sold. As if that was not enough, my daughter delivered my beautiful healthy grandson in the middle of all this about 4 weeks early. As for the purging, (AKA giant, tiring garage sales and NUMEROUS trips to Good Will) actually I think I did a pretty good job. Now that the dust has settled I can see there is still more that can be ditched but overall what is left will definitely fit nicely in a small one bedroom apartment when the time is right. And yes, I did survive but there were many surprises, even more lessons and there were moments…oh there were moments.
Life Change and Transformation
It’s not as though I didn’t know that it was more difficult to sell a home these days. You’d have to live in a cave to not have heard about the short sales, foreclosures; the difficulties people are having qualifying for loans and declining equity in homes all over the US but…let’s just say this is not your mother’s real estate market. In fact it was worse than I ever dreamed and very stressful. As a result, my little miss sunshine reputation suffered in the process and there were moments when I ‘behaved badly.’
Now however tempting it might be it is not my intention to write an exposé on the current real estate market. I share this with you because no matter what transformation you may be going through or goal you might be working on there will come a point when you realize you are on the brink of something great and you will experience obstacles or setbacks. When they arrive without warning it is inevitable that the obstacles will seem bigger than ever. It is especially during these times that you must stay on track. When you successfully move through your challenges, it increases your confidence, makes you stronger, and moves you one step closer to your goals!
What got me through?
Well of course I repeatedly returned to the exercise I shared with you in one of my previous e-zines. If you missed it below is a recap:
1. What it is that you want? Take the time to write and get very clear in your mind what your ‘ideal’ looks like.
2. Answer these identifying questions:
- What have you done so far? What worked best and what didn’t?
- What skills and resources do you have that could move you forward?
- What research could you do to help you find the next step?
- What do you need to do before you do anything else?
- Who else could you ask for help in achieving your goal?
3. Taking action: Looking at the list you have just made answer these questions:
- What would the smallest and easiest step be for you?
- How can you make the task/action more enjoyable or fun?
- What action could you take in the next 10 minutes?
- What 3 actions could you take that make sense this week?
- Who else could help you in completing your actions?
4. Be committed, determined and don’t give up.
- Refocus on and re-read what it is that you want.
- Take a moment to realize the current challenge you are facing and how you feel about it.
- Ask yourself how willing you are to move through this challenge and is the reward worth it.
- Take a moment to remember another time when you felt this way and how you felt when you overcame it.
The Surprises
I listed my house in November, sold almost all of my possessions and closed escrow mid February. Pretty fast in today’s market but I can tell you it felt like a year! For me this experience felt like the downhill side of a roller coaster ride; definitely no turning back, excessive speed that made me feel I had little time to ponder decisions or procrastinate and plenty of jerking turns, just as it looked like I was about to catapult off the track. There were many times the moment of success looked to be right around the corner and one of those ‘obstacles’ would occur. That’s the wearing part; the highs and lows but what I found to be the most uncomfortable part was the never ending ever increasing number of decisions that simply had to be made.
The first surprise…once I finally made the decision, overcame my fear, stepped off the high dive board and began my decent into the waiting water I became so focused on getting there, the fear and the reality of my overall ‘fresh start’ goal disappeared. My focus became Step One; selling the house and getting rid of a ton of stuff.
The second surprise was the realization of just how settled into my comfort level, habit, rut; call it whatever you want, I had become. Interestingly I would not have thought this. We all have routines; when we wake, the ritual of making coffee, the yard, pool and duties we should do that become the white noise of our lives. When everything familiar is either packed away in a box to be opened at some undecided date in the future or is possibly gone it hit me. It was then when I realized just how much of my life was ‘habit’. It might not be exactly what I had envisioned but my life is definitely different now and a good part of my routine as I knew it simply doesn’t exist. The good news; also gone are a large portion of my bills. Woo hoo!
The third and perhaps biggest surprise for me was how all this has made me feel. Yes I experienced all the expected emotions; exhilaration, excitement, frustration, disappointment, at times I was discouraged and then encouraged, teary, irritable, giddy and any other emotion you can possibly think of. But when it was all said and done I certainly did not expect the final emotions. I had envisioned and anticipated the champagne popping over the top celebration similar to the New Years Eve celebrations you see on TV. However that is not how I felt at all. I was relieved, truly spent and very pleased with the results but it I simply felt a slow realization that ‘step one’ was done. Now after a month of recuperation I find I am thinking ‘what now?’
To be continued…
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
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