Attitude Adjustment; a very personal success story, Part II
Now for Part II: The end of the story and the important lessons I learned about the value of a positive attitude and balance. (If you missed Part I, simply scroll down and read Prt I!)
I immediately called my daughter back to convey the surprising news that was so bluntly delivered. I am definitely in need of some assurance that I’m not crazy and thinking some input with a more modern perspective on the episode would help. I get that in his eyes, if the story is even true, he was the injured one but I must say I was a little surprised at the apparent lack of a sincere apology or any concern for my feelings. I’m truly bewildered. I know it’s been a long time since I have indulged in this dating thing but I’m leaning toward, as my two and a half year old granddaughter would say, that’s not nice.
Of course my daughter comes through like a champ. Although there is no talk of “off with his head” she is as surprised as I and delivers the loving concern needed. I assure her that although I am disappointed I am not 18 and on a scale of 1-10 of upsetting events experienced and survived in my life this is about a 2. Well, ok maybe a 3. I decline her offer to fix me dinner, assure her I am perfectly OK and will settle in with one of the two new books I received earlier than expected on this day as well. Synchronicity at work?
Now… for the lesson part:
Since I am the author and actively participating in my own Attitude Adjustment Course I headed for the couch to let all this sink in and sort through my feelings. It seemed quite interesting to me that I would be testing Habit #3 of my e-course in a big way. For those of you who have yet to sign up for the course, Habit # 3 is:
Finding Positive Aspects in Unexpected Occurrences.
Now I did promise not to be sarcastic but I have to tell you I found the following sentences from the program just a little bit funny, given the nature of the unexpected occurrence:
We all experience interruptions to our plans many times throughout the day. Allowing these disturbances to stay in our heads has a dramatic effect on our attitude and can definitely create a negative spiral to our mood.
However, I did write the program and do believe in its effectiveness so I forged ahead to one of the included exercises that I thought would be appropriate for this incident:
Exercise 1: Whenever something unplanned or upsetting occurs during your day immediately think of 3 positive aspects about the situation and say them out loud to yourself. Then delete the negative occurrence from your thoughts and focus on your 3 positive aspects.
You know, as simple as this exercise sounds it did prove to be very effective for me and once I got started I found a number of what I thought were positive aspects which, more importantly, led to some powerful insights about me.
First, he was right on the money with his observation that now my house was clean and I had done a much more thorough job than I ordinarily do. A clean house feels good and if you are going to have an unpleasant experience it is easier to take in a clean house!
This incident had managed to motivate me to remove the lingering clutter from my kitchen countertop and in the process of furniture arrangement I had come up with a much more pleasant ambiance for myself. Without the expected arrival of this special guest I would not have taken the time for furniture experimentation. I now realize I should consider doing these things for me and how my environment affects how I feel about myself.
As I pondered these three positive statements I began to think about how I had felt during the day prior to the unfortunate turn of events. It occurred to me that I had actually taken, what for me, was a risk and while taking the risk I had allowed myself to thoroughly enjoy the experience. I had unwittingly discovered how enjoyable and invigorating it was to completely mentally unplug from work and that I could do this and the world would continued to turn! And somehow I had managed to revive the feeling that male companionship, even though this was the wrong male, can be a stimulating healthy part of a balanced life. You know in the coach world these are really big shifts.
I won’t bore you with the other positive musings this led me to but I think it would suffice to say once I started thinking positively about this experience those thoughts began to expand. Today I am feeling really excited and good about what I took away from this experience.
Negative thoughts and attitudes are more destructive than we think. They affect our self esteem, confidence and what we accomplish. It would have been easy for me to feel like a victim and sorry for myself. Had I indulged in this kind of behavior I would not have discovered the hidden gifts in this incident that now provide me with the opportunity for further growth and happiness.
The uncomplicated truth is we have a choice of how we look at life and that choice is the simple deciding factor that makes one person positive and happy and the other negative and pessimistic.
They say it takes 21 days to create a HABIT. Sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course and at the end of 3 weeks you could be in THE HABIT OF THINKING POSITIVELY!
Something wonderful occurs when one thinks positively
You begin to see POSSIBILITIES EVERYWHERE!
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Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com
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