Holiday Stress, Not this Year; tips for a stress free season
The holidays are here and they are supposed to be enjoyable. We are adding shopping, socializing, baking, house decorating and sometimes travel into our normal activities. Let’s face it, we are human but often times we try to be all things to all our loved ones and friends. We tend to fantasize early about the Christmas of all Christmases in our mind; is it any wonder we wind up feeling inadequate, exhausted and anything but happy in the end when we just give out? We are wise women and we know this but sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the momentum and forget our own good advice. This year why not try setting early realistic goals and be left with beautiful memories of fun, shared humor and good about ourselves when it’s over. Here are some tips to remind you how to enjoy the holiday and make it memorable and stress free at the same time.
- Number 1 priority – TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you’re stressed and exhausted you can’t enjoy anything. This can lead to a lower immune system, feelings of resentment and a short fuse. Plan now to get a massage, manicure/pedicure sometime during this season. This is the ideal time to force you to start that morning walk ritual. A few moments alone in the fresh air can really help you center and relax. Here are some other excellent ideas to keep handy and relax:
- Drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. My friend Sharon shared this excellent recipe for a wonderful detoxifying water drink:
Sassy Water
81/2 cups water
1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger root
1 medium cucumber, peeled and thinly sliced
1 medium lemon, thinly sliced
12 mint leaves
Combine all ingredients in a large pitcher and chill in the refrigerator overnight. Leave all ingredients in the water thereafter. This is really good so be sure to try it.
2. We are likely to be on our feet a lot more than usual and we all know what this can do…. Here is an easy foot bath to refresh, revive and invigorate your tired aching feet after a long day of work, shopping or entertaining.
Refreshing Foot Bath
1 sprig of fresh rosemary with leaves
5 or 6 drops of tea tree oil
Fill a metal or plastic container that is large enough to comfortably fit both of your feet in with warm to hot water, depending on your comfort level. Make sure the container is large enough so the water will reach your ankles when you put your feet in. Break up and sprinkle the rosemary leaves into the water. Add the tea tree oil and gently swirl them into the water. Sit in a comfortable chair, place your feet in the bath, put your head back and relax and enjoy!
We should all remember to pamper ourselves throughout the year but during this hectic season that can test our strength and reserves it is imperative to give yourself extra time and attention. Make time, it’s important.
1. Planning. Part of the problem is we tend to think in the big picture and leave out the number of hours and time involved in our plans and we may not have the unlimited funds and army of helpers available to complete the tasks. Realize that your holiday gatherings do NOT have to be perfect. And really isn’t the perfect holiday the one where everyone had a wonderful time. (That includes you.)
- Plan now to let your family contribute to making this season a special one. Allowing family and friends to contribute will make them feel important, included and most people really appreciate the opportunity! Everyone has a special pie, dish or talent they would love to show off and share!
- Consider setting the holiday table up a day or so early with a family member or friends who also enjoys this activity. This could become a holiday ritual and bonding opportunity! I always cover the masterpiece with a sheet until the day of the dinner.
- Commit to being flexible with schedules ahead of time. Get in the flow of the holiday and be willing to let go of a planned activity that doesn’t happen and don’t stress if the dinner does not come out on the exact hour you planned.
2. Speaking of traditions and rituals. Every holiday does not have to be the same. Sit down now and choose which of your traditions are the most important to you and leave the others for another time. You can then do the job justice and will have the energy to really make it special and enjoy it. Keeps things familiar but fresh with a new idea or two. Try to size down a bit, think Quality not Quantity. And remember all those magazines and TV shows have a number of unseen heads and hands, (staff) that make works of art a reality. Here are a couple of enjoyable ideas to enjoy and can actually help you with the process at the same time.
- Have a cookie decorating afternoon. Invite your guests to an afternoon of making cookies. Everyone can bring cookie making supplies and decorate the cookies for your family gatherings. Get a goofy gift and blind vote for who made the coolest cookie.
- Include an evening of fun free holiday entertainment. Cook popcorn and watch a traditional favorite holiday movie or a drive around town to look at lights. Visit a museum or an art gallery. How about a pretty drive and stop for some hot chocolate along the way. Very relaxing and a chance to spend some quality time with loved ones. Grab your girlfriends or relatives and head for the mall and get a picture made with Santa. Rollerblade together or take an evening walk through the neighborhood and then share some Christmas cheer afterward. Be creative; sometimes the simplest activities are the best.
- Christmas wrapping parties with friends can be fun also. Gather some friends have them bring some of their presents and supplies and wrap presents together! Great conversations and ideas are born in the process.
3. BUDGET. This is an annual problem and is the number one stressor for the holiday season. Make a gift budget and stick to it. That way you won’t feel dread during the process and want to shoot yourself after it is over. Do what you need to do to stay in that budget. Draw names or reduce the number of presents you give to each person. Do some homemade gifts. There are many ways to cut back here. Offer your time or expertise in a certain area, gardening or cooking a meal or house/dog sitting and give your loved one a coupon to be used when they need it in the coming year. Many of these things are of great value to someone and often times more appreciated than anything else you could give!
And lastly, this year I am determined to make my shopping experience pleasant and not simply another pressure. I am going to do as much of my shopping as possible online and EARLY! I have already started my list and the best of what I have found is below. There are unique gifts for everyone and maybe some of these ideas will be perfect for the loved ones in your life.
Unique Gifts and Fab Finds:
Primula Flowering Tea Set with 40-Ounce Pot with Glass Lid
This is a beautiful gift for anyone who loves the ritual of a relaxing cup of tea. When placed in water the tea balls gracefully open into a delightful flower. Enchanting!
Meditation Bowl Box, Red Lotus; 3″
Take your meditations to a new level and get inspired with this singing meditation bowl. I love the image of the vining lotus on the box, symbolizing the full flower of wisdom, on the box.
Columbus Washboard 3020 Galvanized Washboard, Teak 12-7/16×23-3/4 Inches
I love collecting and tinkering with musical instruments. It seems to open some sort of gateway to my creative side!
DVD-Folk Rhythms-Learn To Play Spoons,Bones,Washboard,Hambone and the Paper Bag
Of course it will be helpful to have some intruction! This DVD covers other methods for early American music. The spoons… now wouldn’t that be fun!
AeroGrow AeroGarden with Gourmet Herb Seed Kit
What a fabulous idea! I am trying to eat more organic and fresh foods and have discovered the incredible flavor in fresh herbs. This item is on my Christmas list!
Just in case Santa doesn’t bring me my Aerogarden… I thought this herb savor was a great idea. Fresh herbs do have a tendency to go bad quicker than I can use them and this will extend their life in my fridge. It seems well worth it when you consider the expense of fresh herbs at the grocer!
Norpro 5-1/2-Inch Garlic Baker
Yum! Garlic is so good for us. Who doesn’t love the taste and smell of roasted garlic. I usually do mine on the grill so this will be perfect on those days that is impossible. It’s oven and microwave safe!
The Garlic Lovers’ Cookbook, Vol. II
I read the reviews on this book and do plan to purchase this myself. There is talk of a stuffed mushroom recipe that sounds delicious.
Fred & Friends Cool Jazz Ice Cube Trays Set of 2
These are just cool. What a great stocking stuffer.
Fred Toothpick Holder, Ouch Gray
Now this is cute. A great conversation piece and a fun gift for the person who has everything!
Polar F6 Women’s Heart Rate Monitor Watch (Pink Coral)
New Years resolutions are upon us and it will soon be time to get in shape. My daughter has this monitor and she wears it as a watch all the time. It looks great, waterproof and she loves it.
This is the perfect massage tool to relieve stress,tension and tight muscles. Best of all, you can use it on yourself !
Basic Knead Reflexology Sox – Form Fitting Foot Socks for Massage Therapy
Wait until you see the picture for this item! It feels good just looking at them.
Hmmmm. The soothing calming scent of lavender. This shawl size blanket is like floating in a piece of heaven. You can microwave it for fragrant mood elevating warmth or freeze it to soothe sore muscles and the cover is washable. Your loved one will thank you for this one.
I used to have a lavender eye mask and I wore it out. It really does relax you after a long hard day. This one has the advantage of a washable case!
Bonsai Boy’s Starter Kit
Make Your Own Bonsai Tree
The art of growing one these mystical trees require patience and care and is said to be a peaceful and rewarding experience. If you have a plant enthusiast on your list this kit includes everything the beginning artist will need. A gift the keeps on giving!
The perfect companion for the Bonsai Starter Kit to get your Bonsai enthusiast off on the right foot.
Sunrise Earth: American Sunrises (3pc) (Ws Ac3)
How about a little relaxation. I love tuning in to Sunrise Earth but often miss it as it is on EARLY. This DVD creates a wonderful peaceful environment for your home anytime during the day. Incredible scenery and the sound makes you feel as if you are there! I highly recommend any of the Sunrise Earth DVDs.
The Green Book: The Everyday Guide to Saving the Planet One Simple Step at a Time
Speaking of the EARTH! I know we are all concerned about preserving our earth’s beauty and resources for our future generations. This book is full of easy ideas to incorporate into our lives to help to just that.
I love anything by Clarissa Pinkola Estes but I am in awe every time I listen to her. She has a true gift for story telling. My latest reads are about encouraging our creative instincts and I know this will be inspiring. This is not a new recording but I do not own it, as yet! It is at the top of my Christmas list. Heloooo, Alexis, are you listening?
The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: A Portable Mentor
I am in the process of reading and enjoying this book. It is full of tips on how to nourish and evoke our creative instincts. It would be a wonderful gift for any of your female friends or loved ones. If you don’t happen to have or receive this special book I would recommend you get it for yourself!
I had way too much fun shopping for these gifts. I hope you find something wonderful for your special person.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving Day! I hope you spend it surrounded by those you love and are filled with the gratitude of all that you have and all that you are.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Update and Diva Report
First I’d like to thank all of you who emailed me and offered your support and advice during my Attitude Adjustment test! Just so all of you know; words of encouragement and reassurance from friends during any trying time are very sustaining. Thank you!
I am not going to turn this into a personal soap opera but I am pleasantly surprised at the outcome of the event and what I continue to learn from it. When things don’t go as we have planned or fantasized it is tempting to feel sorry for ourselves and drag unpleasant events from the past into our present. There is great power in the ability to step back and look at things from a different perspective, to stay in the present and communicate with a less defensive attitude! We will always be confronted with events and circumstances that will challenge us but with the right attitude and healthy self image these events become opportunities for growth and wisdom.
Now For the Fun Part!!!!
In one of my recent posts I offered a couple of suggestions on ways to spend some quality time bonding and cherishing your friends. I recently had the pleasure of attending a DIVA PARTY hosted by one of my dear friends and can now personally testify to the benefits of gathering with women friends and simply letting your hair down. Gather a group of fun women add some food, appropriate beverages and bask in the therapy of uncensored female humor and bonding.
This party had all the right ingredients for a perfect night. We were treated to a couple of well researched trivia games that were just the right accelerants to provide ample hilarity and creative comments.
Trivia winners… and oh my, was the trivia interesting.
There were awards for the best slut slippers, and the best diva Jacket award.
The best diva Costumes
The well deserved naughtiest Diva of the night award went to Diva Freckles who received rave reviews!
Our beautiful and fun hostess with the most-est.
This is just a small sampling of the MANY fun photos from that hilarious evening. As you can see, a fun time was had by all! Thanks to Diva Christine for a wonderful party and memory! If you haven’t done this lately you simply must! Bond, defuse, recharge and make sure to include one of these parties in your round of holiday activities or anytime. It is therapy at its best and a great Attitude Adjustment.
THANK YOU DIVA CHRISTINE
If you are looking for other ways to improve your attitude grab a friend or two and take the free 21 day Attitude Adjustment course. It really is simple to do, fun and it works!
Attitude Adjustment; a very personal success story, Part II
Now for Part II: The end of the story and the important lessons I learned about the value of a positive attitude and balance. (If you missed Part I, simply scroll down and read Prt I!)
I immediately called my daughter back to convey the surprising news that was so bluntly delivered. I am definitely in need of some assurance that I’m not crazy and thinking some input with a more modern perspective on the episode would help. I get that in his eyes, if the story is even true, he was the injured one but I must say I was a little surprised at the apparent lack of a sincere apology or any concern for my feelings. I’m truly bewildered. I know it’s been a long time since I have indulged in this dating thing but I’m leaning toward, as my two and a half year old granddaughter would say, that’s not nice.
Of course my daughter comes through like a champ. Although there is no talk of “off with his head” she is as surprised as I and delivers the loving concern needed. I assure her that although I am disappointed I am not 18 and on a scale of 1-10 of upsetting events experienced and survived in my life this is about a 2. Well, ok maybe a 3. I decline her offer to fix me dinner, assure her I am perfectly OK and will settle in with one of the two new books I received earlier than expected on this day as well. Synchronicity at work?
Now… for the lesson part:
Since I am the author and actively participating in my own Attitude Adjustment Course I headed for the couch to let all this sink in and sort through my feelings. It seemed quite interesting to me that I would be testing Habit #3 of my e-course in a big way. For those of you who have yet to sign up for the course, Habit # 3 is:
Finding Positive Aspects in Unexpected Occurrences.
Now I did promise not to be sarcastic but I have to tell you I found the following sentences from the program just a little bit funny, given the nature of the unexpected occurrence:
We all experience interruptions to our plans many times throughout the day. Allowing these disturbances to stay in our heads has a dramatic effect on our attitude and can definitely create a negative spiral to our mood.
However, I did write the program and do believe in its effectiveness so I forged ahead to one of the included exercises that I thought would be appropriate for this incident:
Exercise 1: Whenever something unplanned or upsetting occurs during your day immediately think of 3 positive aspects about the situation and say them out loud to yourself. Then delete the negative occurrence from your thoughts and focus on your 3 positive aspects.
You know, as simple as this exercise sounds it did prove to be very effective for me and once I got started I found a number of what I thought were positive aspects which, more importantly, led to some powerful insights about me.
First, he was right on the money with his observation that now my house was clean and I had done a much more thorough job than I ordinarily do. A clean house feels good and if you are going to have an unpleasant experience it is easier to take in a clean house!
This incident had managed to motivate me to remove the lingering clutter from my kitchen countertop and in the process of furniture arrangement I had come up with a much more pleasant ambiance for myself. Without the expected arrival of this special guest I would not have taken the time for furniture experimentation. I now realize I should consider doing these things for me and how my environment affects how I feel about myself.
As I pondered these three positive statements I began to think about how I had felt during the day prior to the unfortunate turn of events. It occurred to me that I had actually taken, what for me, was a risk and while taking the risk I had allowed myself to thoroughly enjoy the experience. I had unwittingly discovered how enjoyable and invigorating it was to completely mentally unplug from work and that I could do this and the world would continued to turn! And somehow I had managed to revive the feeling that male companionship, even though this was the wrong male, can be a stimulating healthy part of a balanced life. You know in the coach world these are really big shifts.
I won’t bore you with the other positive musings this led me to but I think it would suffice to say once I started thinking positively about this experience those thoughts began to expand. Today I am feeling really excited and good about what I took away from this experience.
Negative thoughts and attitudes are more destructive than we think. They affect our self esteem, confidence and what we accomplish. It would have been easy for me to feel like a victim and sorry for myself. Had I indulged in this kind of behavior I would not have discovered the hidden gifts in this incident that now provide me with the opportunity for further growth and happiness.
The uncomplicated truth is we have a choice of how we look at life and that choice is the simple deciding factor that makes one person positive and happy and the other negative and pessimistic.
They say it takes 21 days to create a HABIT. Sign up for the 21 Day Attitude Adjustment Course and at the end of 3 weeks you could be in THE HABIT OF THINKING POSITIVELY!
Something wonderful occurs when one thinks positively
You begin to see POSSIBILITIES EVERYWHERE!
Attitude Adjustment; a very personal success story, Part I
I struggled with whether or not to share this story. It is kind of personal and it is not my intention to expose someone else’s secrets but it seems to be so appropriate to just what a positive attitude can do for you along with the benefits of a balanced life that I decided to share it. I will not use names to protect the innocent!
If you follow my blog or know me personally, it is no secret that I am a recovering workaholic. Now that I do not have the traditional 9 am to 8:00 pm schedule I used to put myself through I am recovering but still experience difficulties in letting work go and allowing unbridled pleasure in my life without the background noise of work in my head. One of my remaining symptoms is the lack of male companionship in my life. It has been a long time since I have “dated” (let’s just say years). It has been so long I don’t recall how this “habit” started. It wasn’t any particular event but the general excuse was… I don’t have time followed with the classic when I get” fill in the blank” accomplished I‘ll make the time and effort to find that certain perfect someone.
CAN WE TALK?
With that said let’s fast forward. There is a restaurant that I and my family frequent and one I occasionally visit alone. There is a certain person I have chatted with a few times and I admit, the thought he might be someone nice to date had entered my mind but circumstances were never quite right to make this happen. Recently, and just days before the moon was big round and full of all things, the occasion seemed to magically evolve in the most comfortable and natural of ways. After bumping into him, sharing cocktails, dinner and a long conversation the traditional exchange of contact information occurred and a nightly conversation commenced. One thing led to another and our “first date” was planned for Wednesday.
I am sure he had no idea what a divergence from my character this was and is completely unaware of what this triggered. On the morning of the “big date” another monumental shift in my attitude occurred. I lingered in bed and decided that I deserved a break and was going to thoroughly enjoy this experience. I gave myself permission to completely mentally unplug from work and the computer for the entire day. I decided to mow the front lawn, clean my house which led to some overdo clutter removal and even some experimentation with furniture arrangement. Once satisfied and even inspired I moved on to what I could remember about date prep. Let’s see, there was hair color touch up, a pedicure, and attire experimentation and decision. Then much more time than usual on makeup and a trip to the store to pick up the beer I noticed he drank and something appropriate for a light snack in the event we didn’t rush right out to dinner. Oddly the day was extremely pleasant even energizing and when all was complete I had an hour and a half to relax and leisurely dress for his arrival! I am really feeling good now and the best part was I honestly had not even thought about checking email or work. This is big!
OK ladies, it is perfectly fine to start chuckling here.
At this point I’m thinking this is pretty nice and maybe I have been a little hard on myself and perhaps male companionship is stimulating and a healthy thing. Balance, cloud walking… yup there might be something to this after all; this is definitely good stuff. I am beginning to feel like the guy in the old movie “Caddy Shack” who plays the golf game of his life in thunder, lightening and rain.
Its 5:38 and I’m sitting outside indulging in a glass of wine reporting my success to my daughter on the home phone when I hear my cell phone ringing. I jump up to catch it thinking he might have an update on his ETA and here’s what he said:
“Hi, you know I have just had a dreadful day. I have been wrestling with some legal document issue, searching for papers all day and I have a headache and just feel awful. I am in a terrible mood and I know I wouldn’t be any fun tonight. To make matters worse I have a big and early meeting in the morning so I hope you understand but I think I better just stay in tonight. It would probably be better if we did this on a Friday or Saturday night…………………………………………..”
Ok, now you can start full blown laughter!
I think, in a word, I felt stunned. I suddenly had this mental picture of myself dreamily and pleasantly sleep walking toward the edge of a cliff and someone, blessedly I guess, throws a bucket of ice water in my face and abruptly I wake up. I honestly had to take a moment to process this before I could speak.
More laughter allowed here.
Did I mention during those build up to the “first date” phone conversations there was a lot talk about how excited he was to see me again and how this would be our “first date” and how much he was looking forward to it and on and on and on? Geez, I may as well have been hypnotized.
After whining this sad story out almost as an afterthought he asks, how was your day? I didn’t quite know what to say but I think I mumbled something about how I had taken the day off to catch up on some overdo maintenance items here at the house. The next part of this is a bit of a blur but I think he commented on how good that was because now I had it all done and I, not we, could relax on the weekend and I honestly don’t remember what the parting salutation was. At this point, not all that important, right?
Now… for the end of the story and the important lesson I learned about the value of a positive attitude and balance please tune back in tomorrow for Part II. Honestly, I’m not going to be sarcastic and there really is a positive lesson here; just read the rest of the story tomorrow and you’ll see.
In the mean time, I would LOVE to hear your comments on this event. If you receive this via email just click this link:
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
480-656-2026
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com