Can Positive Self Talk Make A Difference?
I know, I know, it’s been talked about to death. It is a part every book on self esteem, motivation or happiness and we all know what it is. It’s about paying attention to what we say to ourselves and what we think. Whenever we are awake we are thinking. This thinking plays out as private subliminal messages and conversations that only we hear. Since we have been thinking since birth, it becomes automatic, like breathing, swallowing or moving about. It is something we do and no longer recognize how or when we do it. We talk to ourselves every waking moment and we no longer consciously hear what we are saying. It’s like living near a freeway. After a period of time you don’t hear the traffic unless you consciously listen for it.
When a subject is talked, written and spoken about so much it becomes something we skim. When we see something more on the subject we think we know what it is and if we read about it at all we think, oh yeah, that’s the self talk thing. Good idea and I’ll have to do that sometime but right now I have to conquer the world, plan the party or family gathering, get through this meeting or figure out how I’m going to replace what I lost out of my 401k for Pete’s sake and off we go.
There is a reason this subject is brought up every time self esteem is talked or written about.
If you are attempting to improve your self esteem and life it is imperative that you actively take notice of what you are saying to yourself and why.
Once you do, it is an excellent indicator of what you think about yourself and what you are attracting into your life. If you’re not in the habit of monitoring what you regularly say to yourself here are some examples that might be easy to recall.
What did you say to yourself the last time you were;
· Preparing your resume.
· On your way to an interview.
· Driving home from the interview.
· About to give a presentation at a meeting.
· Preparing for a blind date.
· Opening an invitation to a pool party.
· Attending a party where you only know the hosts.
It seems it is easiest to hear and recall our self talk when we are doing something we are uncomfortable with.
I think we all agree that in order to change anything you must first acknowledge that it exists. I also think that in order to create the enthusiasm needed to make a sincere effort to change we need to believe that it is possible. While I was exploring “self talk” I was surprised to learn the depth of scientific research on this subject and the impressive findings on the potential of the brain to literally change. (Even old brains!) I read and listened to a large amount of information on habits, self talk, the brain, and here is a synopsis of what I discovered that reinforced my belief in the power of self talk.
· The brain is like a computer.
· From the moment you take your first breath it absorbs all the information you get from your five senses and stores it.
· Like a computer, it doesn’t question or evaluate the information you put into your computer.
· Repeated messages create pathways in the brain; the more you repeat the message the bigger the pathway becomes.
· The largest pathways become the programs you use.
When you Think- it triggers a Thought - which triggers a Mood - which triggers an Action
· Those programs you have created through repeated messages are the instructions your brain sends you on how to respond.
· The best information I discovered is that new pathways and programs can be created at anytime through repetition.
Positive self talk is not just a trend, it is very powerful. What you say to yourself over and over becomes what your brain believes you to be. What you believe yourself to be is who you are.
Still not convinced? Whether you believe it or not, let’s say you have been ordered to spend 30 days locked up in a house and you can bring one of two friends with you. One of your friends is sarcastic, always points out the negative side of any situation you bring up and is quick to point out ways you can improve. (For your own good, of course.) Your other friend consistently sees the positive side of your situation, expresses confidence in your decisions, abilities and always comments on how good you are. Which friend would you choose to spend your days of confinement with?
Now isn’t it exciting to know you have the ability to make dramatic changes in your life? It costs you nothing, you don’t need anyone’s help and you can start immediately! Commit right now to actively listen for those negative thoughts or statements about yourself. The moment you hear them stop and replace them with positive statements. You can use the tried and true method of popping a rubber band on your wrist when you make a negative statement about yourself but, I am a woman, I prefer a stretch bead bracelet, special necklace or anything pretty to touch for reinforcing the habit change in my mind.
While you’re at it reinforce your positive self talk each morning before you start off for your day. Stand in front of a mirror and find as many nice things to say about yourself as you can. Say them out loud. Set a number you are comfortable with and don’t leave the mirror until you have accomplished it. Start with 5 and work your way up to 10.
Make a tape of your positive statements and play them in the car or whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself.
Write your positive statements on sticky notes and stick them in places where you will find them throughout the day. Put one on the visor of your car, in your makeup bag, on the inside of a kitchen cabinet or any place that you frequent.
Get creative and come up with as many ways as you can to reinforce your positive self talk. Before you know it you won’t need the rubber band or bracelet, you will believe what you say and you will become what you believe.
v Do you believe that positive self talk can make a difference in your life? Please feel free to share your suggestions and ideas in the comments or email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
v By the way, to receive your free Life Journey Tools, simply click the “register for a site account” button on the right, enter your name and email and you will have access to all downloads! (I value your privacy as I do my own, your information will never be shared.)
Outside resources:
§ Book: Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain
§ Book: Mind-Power, The Secret Of Mental Magic
§ Book: A New Beginning II
Digging for Personal Treasures
When was the last time you took great pains to plan and do something by yourself? I am not talking about getting your nails done or a massage. Good things for sure, but do you, on a regular basis plan something special to do with yourself; as if you were you were going out with your girlfriend or your mate but you are the girlfriend or the mate? When was the last time you stopped to really remember parts of you from long ago? Sound strange? In order to know and love yourself you need to nurture this relationship and I hope by now you are beginning to realize that your relationship with yourself should be above all others. Without you, there are no other relationships.
In the beginning I can tell you this was really hard for me to wrap my brain around. It was hard enough for me to make and keep a date out with the girls. I considered that “self time”. After all, as a single person, I was alone all the time unless I was out with friends, family or at work. And yes, I follow the “don’t turn on the TV” rule unless there is something specific I want to watch or hear. Yes, that allows me to be more present and hear myself think. So what was this take time out to do something special with me thing I kept reading about? I can tell you that once I forced myself to do it I began to understand and really enjoy it. The result; I began to acknowledge that I was important, special, worth knowing and understanding and it made a big difference in how I felt about myself. In fact I found that I am more interesting than I thought or remembered! I began to feel more creative, self confident, relaxed and comfortable with myself. Eventually I noticed I was nicer and more considerate to myself when I wasn’t on my date! I also found myself enthusiastic about discovering and trying new things. Knowing that this might be a new concept the following are some ideas to get your mind going. We are all different, so find things you enjoy. It will grow and I think you will find yourself looking forward to your outings!
Ground Rules:
· Turn off all distractions, phones, TV, computers. I promise you the world will not come to an end if you are MIA for a few hours. The purpose is to be alone with yourself, to remember, experience and get to know you.
· Don’t do something that is a “kill two birds with one stone” thing. Make sure it is either something you really enjoy or something or someplace that is new to you and you really want to try.
Ideas:
· Pack some fruit and bottled water and go to a pretty park and read a book.
· Go to the mall and purchase a book. Then get coffee and pretend to read but people watch instead!
· Go to a Jazz bar and drink a glass of wine and listen to some music.
· Rediscover the Zoo or botanical garden in your area. Take your camera and make a photo journal of the day! The dollar stores have wonderful inexpensive little albums that are great for this.
· Take a day to wander around a flea market or the farmers market.
· Take a class about something new you’ve never done before and want to try. (My most recent was an African drum class. Loved it, and plan to continue)
· If you like to cook buy a new cook book or find a recipe in a magazine that looks interesting and plan a night to cook a nice dinner for yourself with candles and wine and then curl up with a good book or watch your favorite feel good movie.
· Buy a hammock on a frame and put it on your patio with a pretty throw and pillow. Spend some special time alone in it to read, daydream or write in your journal while sipping herbal water or tea.
· Whenever you are out on your adventures purchase little nonsense things you know you love and put them in a special drawer or box. Spray your favorite fragrance inside it or add some scented candles. Collect special soap, your favorite chocolate, a new book, music, perhaps some profoundly frivolous slippers, ( think fluffy feathers), a pretty new nightgown, scented eye mask, a special tea cup or wine glass you that doesn’t match anything you have and tea or a special bottle of wine to go with! Then on your special day, when the time is just right dig in your drawer or box and craft a perfect day or evening. Mmmmmm.
· Buy a special frame and place a photo from one of your outings that made you happy or inspired on your desk. Change the photo weekly. A perfect way to remind yourself of how special you are.
· Take a day or evening to dig out those boxes of photos that are stashed away in the closet or garage and go through them. Pick several pictures of you that bring back memories of a time when you felt really good about yourself or what you accomplished. Make a photo journal and write about what and how you felt at that time in your life. Frame a few and put them where you can see them for inspiration to recapture those feelings and characteristics you want with you today. When I did this I suddenly realized that I had photos of family and friends scattered about my house but not a single picture of only me doing anything. This one was fun, here’s how mine turned out:
· Here is another treat. I don’t know if any of you have saved mementos but I discovered a whole box of memories while scavenging for photos. There were cards, letters and poems written to me from long ago relationships, and occasions. Wow. I discovered very interesting buried treasures here. Some made me remember parts of me I want to magnify again and some made me proud that I am no longer that person. Powerful stuff! Dig around; go find them, this is really worth the effort.
There is opportunity for real growth as you spend time with yourself and recapture your most important relationship, YOU. It is so easy to become numb and regimented about our lives as the years tick by. There are forgotten treasures within you to be remembered and explored. Find them and discover how unique and special you are.
§ Happy hunting! Feel free to share your comments or suggestions below or email me at deborah@womenintransitiononline.com.
Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.
v By the way, to receive your free Life Journey Tools, simply click the “register for a site account” button on the right, enter your name and email and you will have access to all downloads! (I value your privacy as I do my own, your information will never be shared.)
Outside resource:
§ Book: Simple Abundance
Will The Real YOU Please Stand Up?
If I asked who you are how would you answer?
Would you say; I am a stay at home mother, I am a real estate agent, I am a banker, I am a doctor, I am a massage therapist, wife, retired or “whatever”? Is that who you really are or is it the role you are currently playing. How many roles have you played in your life and how many more do you think you might play?
Have you noticed that this is the customary question at gatherings? I am guilty of it myself. We have become accustomed to asking or identifying what we do when we meet someone new. We may think of it as a means of finding common interest to talk about but in reality it’s a label, it’s the tag line attached to our name. Once we have heard the label doesn’t it predetermined how we feel about this person to some degree? Don’t we automatically have some pre conceptions about the person based on their label such as; educated, white collar, blue collar, interesting, dull, successful or average before we even get to know the person? And if we have these pre conceptions about others based on their “label” do we feel the same way about our own labels? Does this constant statement repeated over and over again make us act and feel differently than who we really are?
The truth is society has trained us to focus on the surface of our lives and to place our value and identity on what we do, how we look and what we have. All of these things can and will change and although they are parts of our lives they are not WHO WE ARE. If we base our identity on these things alone, when they change or disappear we are lost, frightened and empty. We have all heard the extreme but familiar stories that exemplify this. Suicides over financial losses, depressions and self destructive behavior when important relationships end are just a few of the results of looking outside you for love and approval. Truly knowing, understanding and loving yourself for who you are on the inside is the key to attracting positive circumstances, relationships and inner peace to your life and it will anchor you through rough waters when they occur. To truly know yourself you need to spend quality undistracted time with yourself.
In reality I think we all know that we are not spending time on ourselves and that we try to accomplish more than is possible and leave ourselves for later. The logical solution would be to take a look at our schedules and lives and discover where we need to adjust our expenditures of effort and time, to eliminate the unnecessary obligations we take on, learn to say “NO” and presto we create a more balanced life for ourselves! It sounds simple. The problem is, although helpful and enlightening, this tactic doesn’t address the WHY of how we got our priorities so out of balance.
Guilt. Why do we feel guilty when we attempt to make time for us?
Is it possible you are over-identifying with your role? This subject is very near and dear to my heart. When I left the real estate business after 15 years I found myself in quite an unexpected quandary. I had thought I was excited to leave the business and was looking forward to trying something new but instead I found I was filled with uncomfortable feelings that I just couldn’t identify or understand. While reading one of my favorite books, The Toa of Inner Peace, I took an assessment and a very bright light bulb went off. Here is what I’m willing to confess to about the results I found about myself:
1. MY JOB
As an on-sight real estate sales person I always chose to work without a partner. This required me to usually work 6 days a week and to be on call on the 7th day. As if that was not enough, I felt it important to make it clear I would be available for before and after office hour appointments. If I had an outstanding week I was ecstatic and when I hit a slump I was devastated. On the rare occasion when I was forced to take time off I checked in with my assistant twice a day and made it clear I was on call if necessary. Oh, and the best identifier, when I did take time off I absolutely had no clue what to do with myself. Leave town? That was out of the question.
2. MY FAMILY
Well you can imagine the guilt I felt for not having enough time for my family! Any spare time I had was allotted to my daughter and mom. I mean there was always that 7th day and usually I did not have to work after hours. If I was asked to go out to dinner or a function with friends I always made sure there was nothing on the “family agenda”.
3. PARTNER
Partners, what’s that? You mean like mate, husband or date? I would make time for that after the first phase was sold out, my daughter’s wedding, the birth of my BEAUTIFUL granddaughter, etc. you get the idea, absolutely no time for that.
4. MY BODY
Perhaps this little short story will suffice:
Twenty years ago I had a family portrait done of my daughter, my mom, myself, my now deceased beloved little yorkie, Miss Corey and my handsome cat, Siggy. Needed or not, a serious amount of air brushing occurred and we all looked great! I took that picture down years ago and my mom snatched it for her house. She thought it was such a pretty picture of us all and she couldn’t understand why I wanted to take it down. Recently my mom had some surgery and during one of the nurse’s visits to her house she saw the portrait and asked, “Who are those people in that photograph? One of them looks like Barbara Mandrel.” Hey, that would be me and, yes, I was standing right there.
When she left I turned to my mom and said, “And that’s why I choose not to hang that picture in my house.”
These statements are all examples of someone who is over-identifying with the roles in their life. How many can you identify with? These parts of our lives are to be experienced, cherished and enjoyed but you are so much more than your job, family, partner or the body you walk around in.
We have the benefit of knowing now what we didn’t know then. By now and certainly in these times we know that:
1. Companies we’ve given so much of ourselves to can go bankrupt. When financial times change companies will downsize without second thought to your personal well being.
2. Children grow up and often times move away to live their lives and your role will naturally decrease.
3. Relationships change, people divorce and deaths occur and if you do not maintain a strong sense of self these changes can leave you feeling devastated, lost and alone.
4. Struggling to hang on to your youth is a depressing and unrealistic endeavor. A strong sense of self will allow you to move through life’s natural cycles with style and grace and true beauty.
When we attach our identity to these labels aren’t we in reality comparing our status in life to someone else’s as a measure of whether or not we are enough?
Ohm, do you think my ears are too big?
STOP COMPARING, STOP COMPARING, AND STOP COMPARING. There is a unique and beautiful individual inside you. Take the time to find her. She knows you and loves you just the way you are and for who you are. She doesn’t care what anyone else is doing or thinks and she is always with you. She will never make you feel guilty or inadequate. She is always waiting and regardless of how long it’s been she is glad to see you. Her love and support are unconditional. Don’t ignore her… embrace her, SPEND TIME WITH HER and find out who she really is.
Here is the typical response to this, (I said it too!); I’ll try but I just don’t have time to spend on myself right now, as soon as I (you fill in the blank), then I will spend more time on me. Translation: No, I am not going to do it, I’ll read about it but I don’t have time right now and I’m not going to do it.
Is that really true or are you avoiding digging out the real you and realizing just how special and wonderful she is? Does that thought frighten you to some degree and do you feel safer in the status quo? If you are ready to stop going through the motions of life and craft the life you truly love you are going to have to make the effort, be willing to break out of the mold and do things differently.
With that said, here are two out of the box fun exercises to help you discover and reconnect with the real you.
Exercise One:
The next time you are out or at a gathering and you meet someone new when the inevitable question of what you do comes up try answering with; most recently I am exploring or involved with cooking, the art of tango dancing, photography, animal rescue or whatever is your passion or interest. Try your best to not mention your “label”. This label thing is so ingrained in us this might be harder than you think!
Exercise Two:
Borrow, buy or go to a thrift store and acquire an outfit you love but a style you wouldn’t normally wear. Make it something you like and feel good in. If you normally wear pants find a dress you feel good in. If your style is always tailored, try to find something utterly feminine. Be brave and honest about this and genuinely experiment with your selection. Now take your new persona out in public.
After each of these exercises take out your journal or a notebook and answer these questions:
1) Did you feel that people responded to you differently and if so how?
2) Did you feel you acted differently than you normally would and if so how?
3) What did you like or dislike about yourself during these exercises?
4) Last but not least, what did you learn about yourself and the people you encountered during these exercises?
Sound silly? Here are the abbreviated results of a longer experiment:
My first husband was a “real cowboy”. He was part of a family cattle trucking and stock producing business and the rodeo was a way of life for them. I was immersed in the lifestyle and loved it. When we divorced, (it was friendly), I married a man who was the exact opposite and so was the lifestyle. When that marriage ended and I returned to Texas with our young daughter I bought a couple of horses. My daughter and I spent wonderful days riding and participating in rodeos together. During that time in my life I owned two cars, a Porsche and a Jeep Grand Wagoneer to haul my horse trailer. I distinctly remember how differently I was viewed and treated when driving the different vehicles. Back then I thought it was funny. When I moved us to Scottsdale, Arizona I opened an upscale women’s clothing boutique. When I would speak of my cowgirl days with those I was close with they would always say in puzzlement “I just can’t picture you as a cowgirl”. As the years went by, neither could I!
So try the exercises and perhaps it will jog some memories of your own. You are not just a cow girl, boutique owner, realtor or whatever you’ve been in your life, you are so much more.
v Do you think you’re over identifying with your label? Share your thoughts, stories and
comments with us!
v By the way, to receive your free Life Journey Tools, simply click the “register for a site account” button on the right, enter your name and email and you will have access to all downloads! (I value your privacy as I do my own, your information will never be shared.)
Outside resources:
§ Book: The Tao of Inner Peace
From A Caregivers Point Of View…
As promised, the second of two. ..
A heartwarming and informative personal story sent in response to the When Mother Gets Sick, Part I post:
I, too, have been in the same boat with my mom. When my dad passed away, I returned home with my husband-to-be, relocating from one coast to another, to oversee mom’s life in general and be her support system. She was still young at age 70 and quite capable of being on her own but some of the day-to-day things that my dad handled were suddenly daunting (do we have enough fire insurance or who will climb the ladder to change the smoke detector batteries?). We muddled through on our own. Six years later, the three of us decided to relocate to Arizona.
Mom was still very independent and able to live on her own. We secured two apartments in the same community, unpacked our things and prepared for life in our new city. We were so excited and hopeful. My intention was to find some nice male companionship for my mom as she was still very vibrant and full of life. Or so I thought…
Ten days after we arrived, my mom and I were having a conversation by phone and she was talking backward. Nothing made sense. She was having seizures for the first time in her life although I didn’t know it at the time. My husband and I took her to the ER and went through a battery of tests. We learned several days later that she had a brain tumor in the area of her brain that controls speech. Surgery was scheduled and performed and we sat on pins and needles waiting for the diagnosis. Another ten days of worry went by and we were hit with the news that mom had a year to live. I was told it was time to start radiation; five days/week for five weeks. I received that call from our neurosurgeon while I was alone in my home. I froze on the phone. Then hung up and literally screamed from the pit of my stomach. I wailed like a child although I was 38 years old. So this was it. No fun happy hours for mom; no dates for mom. Surgery, radiation, death. I had a year with her at best and no plan. Oh…and I had to deliver the diagnosis myself.
I was quickly thrust into the medical world of blood work, appointments, post-op instructions and the job of continuously explaining to my mom her diagnosis and that she was not dumb; the tumor was interfering with her ability to speak. No guidance for what to do, how to do it or what to expect. I had no idea that caregivers even existed. How do you know when mom is near the end of her life? How do you know when it’s time to call hospice? How do I honor my mom’s wishes and continue to let her be fiercely independent and live by herself? I was a clueless adult child who was about to become an orphan. It was time to pull up my boot straps and figure it out.
My mom always used to say “what would I do without you” and I really didn’t have an answer. What did everyone else do who didn’t have a daughter to devote every waking hour to her mother? Let’s face it, we can’t stop our lives, quit our jobs and sit ‘round the clock for possibly years at a time waiting for our parents to pass on. We are still in the land of the living and must function while preserving our quality of life and that of our parents’.
Two years after she passed away I decided to answer her question “what would I do without you”. I searched for a way to help others, fulfill my own heart’s needs and employ myself at the same time. I contacted an agency and asked that they give me a chance and hire me. I had hands’ on experience and my heart was in the right place. I was certain there were others out there who needed me and I was right. Over the past six years I have been fortunate to see both sides of the coin; as a caregiver employed by an agency and ultimately as a self-employed non-medical caregiver!
Both have advantages and disadvantages to the client in need of care.
A caregiving agency can provide 24-hour care with shift changes. They can provide backup if the caregiver is sick. On the other hand, I am one person with a family of my own and can only provide so many hours of care in a day. An agency is going to place more restrictions on the caregiver’s involvement, i.e., they do not allow caregivers to dispense medications or even tap a pill into mom’s hand.
As a self-employed caregiver, I can give all of myself and offer as much as I’m comfortable with.
When contacting an agency, ask questions not only of the agency and their policies but actually interview the caregivers yourself. If you don’t like their answers, move on to an agency that does fulfill your needs. Pretend this is your infant going to daycare and do the same kind of legwork needed to find the right people. Your parent is just as vulnerable as an infant.
When you meet, if your gut tells you to move on from that caregiver, do it. Don’t allow your own doubts about *being fair* to creep in by telling yourself that you’re not giving the caregiver a chance. If you have doubts, listen to your inner voice! You can’t go wrong.
My best recommendation for finding a private caregiver is to ask your parent’s friends for recommendations. Chances are, they have a caregiver or have had one. People never lose the business card of a good caregiver. Ask people you trust in your church, the local drug store that has a home health department, your trusted family doctor, your hairdresser and the neighbors. Chances are good that one of your friends has already dealt with this and can advise you. Really open your eyes and pay attention as you’re moving through your daily life. When you see a client and her caregiver in the grocery store or the hair salon, listen and really hear what’s going on. If that caregiver seems loving and gentle, ask her for a business card. Did she open the door for her client or did she leave her behind while she walked on ahead with her cell phone pressed to her ear? Observe.
When I meet a new client for the first time (as a caregiver for hire), I encourage as many of the adult children as possible to be present with a list of questions. Mom should have her own list of questions, too. Then we sit as a family and have a cup of coffee and just talk. I tell them about my own personal experience with my folks but keep out the expansive medical details. I also suggest they contact the families I work with or have worked with for personal references. They know the name of my husband and will eventually meet him. I have even broken the ice with an elderly couple who were resistant to caregiving by bringing pictures of my dogs. The client knows who I am before I even know who she is. And most importantly…mom is addressed to her face and talked to as part of the decision-making team. Even if she is unable to communicate well, I feel it is of the utmost importance to maintain respect toward her at all times. Never speak about her as if she’s not in the room. This is her life we’re trying to enhance as a team. And if she doesn’t like the caregiver, listen to her and pinpoint why. Not every relationship is a match made in heaven. Mom has her vibes too and she’s the one who will be spending her precious hours with that caregiver.
This is a scary time of life when mom is losing her independence, driving privileges, and her friends. It’s not easy for her to face it all and by telling mom “you have to do xyz” is only going to cause a battle and make her resistant to these changes.
I believe a good caregiver brings ideas to the table on the type of care she can provide. I’m always asked “what exactly to you do” and my reply is “I do everything a daughter would do”. Then I elaborate. My purpose in a private home is to keep my client independent and safe. I will then offer ideas on how to make that happen, i.e., removing throw rugs, extension cords, step stools, etc. I suggest that I can help with light housekeeping, i.e., change the bed, empty the dishwasher, do the laundry, cook, shop, schedule doctor/hair/nail appointments, get mom to her appointments on time, report to the family what the doctor has said, order prescriptions, etc.
My personal touch goes a long way and I eventually become part of the family until the end of the client’s life. I request the children participate in mom’s life not only for her sake but for mine as well. Interaction with family and friends helps offset depression in our seniors. It’s a team effort. And as the saying goes “there’s no I in team”!
I can also assist in the nursing home/assisted living/Alzheimer’s setting. Families cannot always be present during working hours to check on mom. But a caregiver can. I offer random checks in my business where the family knows I’m going to see mom but the facility does not know when I’ll be arriving or how long I’ll be staying. A good quality facility should welcome another pair of eyes. I also like the idea of a log book in the client’s room. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy; just a notebook to jot down observations or concerns.
Remember that as your mom’s child, your intention is powerful. Put out there what you want coming back. It may take time and you may go through a few caregivers, but the right one will come along.
Take time for you. Don’t punish yourself about keeping that Saturday afternoon all to yourself. You cannot be a good caregiver if you’re not taking care of yourself. Chances are good that mom is quite fulfilled from the conversations with her new caregiver and she’s thrilled that you’re taking the time to do something for yourself!
And remember…through the eyes of our parents, the most important role we play is their child not their caregiver. They’re still the parents and they’re still in charge. A hug does us all good!
About the author: Dianne Marcinizyn is a private caregiver in Scottsdale, Arizona. She is also a licensed and nationally certified massage therapist specializing in deep tissue and trigger point therapies. She lives with her husband and two senior rescued Labrador retrievers and is currently developing recipes for homemade dog food in her spare time. She can be reached at Gemini1961@aol.com.
Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach
Empowering women to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets that is your own unique version of the life you love. About Deborah
480-656-2026
deborah@womenintransitiononline.com